Well, if it wasn't already obvious, this story of the alleged robbery involving four U.S. swimmers isn't going away. In fact, Thursday brought a revelation from the Brazilian police that Ryan Lochte and the other swimmers lied about what happened early Saturday morning. "No robbery was committed against these athletes," the chief of Rio's civil police said.
Instead of addressing that minor discrepancy, Lochte tweeted about his hair.
"Lochte and his story have hijacked these Olympic Games," wrote Christine Brennan. He's stolen the spotlights from thousands of athletes who've worked years on their respective sports, and for that, he owes many, many people an apology.
The other angle to this ongoing saga: The Rio police are by no means absolved of culpability, either. "For five days, Brazilian authorities devoted considerable time and resources to unraveling the various versions of Lochte's story. Time and resources that, given the serious security concerns Rio has, could have been better spent," writes Nancy Armour.
Who knows what twists tomorrow will offer, but their apparent lies have already stained their once-impressive Olympic performance.
Ah, not literally. But he did win his third consecutive gold medal in the 200 meter sprint, his signature event, which had never been done before.
It wasn't the world record he said he was trying to set, but it was an eighth gold medal in his final individual event. Naturally, we looked back at all of his individual medals.
It began early on Thursday, with USA's Kerron Clement capturing his first individual gold medal in the 400-meter hurdles. "I felt the lactate in my legs, and I thought about diving like the Bahamas runner," he said, but he didn't need to resort to that.
Later American Dalilah Muhammad won gold in the women's 400 hurdles. Shoutout to her for having the best name on the U.S. squad. That was followed by American Ryan Crouser setting an Olympic record in the shot put while teammate Joe Kovacs took home silver.
The USA's Ashton Eaton won his second consecutive decathlon, becoming just the third athlete ever to win two decathlons.
And as if the United States hadn't had enough success in track and field, their women's 4x100 relay team — which had been disqualified and then won an appeal to run by themselves for a place in the final — qualified as the favorite in an empty-track run.
The U.S. men's basketball team finally played to their potential in the quarterfinals, setting up Friday's semifinal game against Spain. The trash-talking has already begun. The Spanish team, which hasn't won a gold medal in basketball at the Olympics, may not be at full strength.
Kevin Durant, arguably the USA's most valuable player, has been profoundly affected by the Olympic spirit he's seen in Rio, especially compared to the problems stateside.
And regardless of whether the U.S. men's team wins Friday and ultimately wins the gold medal this weekend, it's clear that Mike Krzyzewski was the right man for the job after the 2004 debacle.
The American women are already one step ahead of the men, as they outlasted France in the semis to set up a gold-medal game, also against Spain.
Helen Maroulis won the first-ever wrestling gold medal for the U.S. women on Thursday. All she had to do was beat a three-time defending Olympic champion.