Why are they telling me this story?
If someone is telling me how they paid off their student loans before they became a famous actor, are they insecure that people think they didn't have it hard before their success?
And if they are insecure, why?
What are the spaces?
"And after my divorce, I moved into a smaller apartment…"
Wait a second. Why did you get a divorce? What happened? This might be critical for how you developed relationships afterward.
What are they telling me that doesn't matter?
People can go on and on about little details in their childhood. Sometimes it matters. Usually it doesn't. People like to talk. And other people are afraid to interrupt.
Let's get to the point!
When are they skipping facts because it's too easy for them/ How?
It's really hard to interview athletes. Because their bodies do the talking for them. They are honed machines that act before they think. So often they don't have the words to describe what they do.
So I can either nod and listen to their achievements. Or really try to get them to break down what they do to achieve such success. This happens not just in sports but with any people who have been successful a long time.
They forget the initial language of success.
Do they ever contradict themselves?
It's ok if they do. One person told me honesty is the only way he lives his life. But then he says he cheated on his wife because he wanted to be honest about his feelings to the other person.
Well: is this honest or not? I want to know!