Every time it occurs to us that Blue Apron might be the worst stock of all time, it somehow gets worse.
After incautiously warning potential investors that the company might never turn a profit due to its rather narrow market and cost-heavy business model, the company announced its IPO almost simultaneously against news of a mega-merger that threatened its very existence and then listed directly into the wrath of a mini-crash in tech stocks.
We've got to hand it to Blue Apron though, for it alone has expanded our understanding of the "S***show." It's not easy to create a chart like this, you guys.
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And that was before this morning, before Jeff Bezos decided that merely tripping Blue Apron coming out of the gate wasn't enough, especially when he can cut the company's legs out from under it. And with this summer heat making us all a little nutty, Bezos has apparently decided to whip out the bonesaw.
Wanna see two paragraphs that encapsulate Blue Apron's nightmare come true?
Amazon is stepping up its assault on America's $780bn grocery market with plans to deliver meal kits to customers' homes.
The internet retailer has registered a trademark in the US for a new service called "We do the prep. You be the chef". It will cover "prepared food kits… ready for assembly as a meal", according to its application.
Amazon might as well have legally named this idea "Death to Blue Apron™" and cackled maniacally as it was filed.
It was hardly a secret that Amazon was intrigued with the "Recipe in a box" model, and that it had the infrastructure all ready to go with millions of Prime subscribers, monsoons of revenue and now Whole Foods, but registering a trademark for a legit foray into that space is tantamount to slapping a death warrant on Blue Apron's already hobbled stock price.