Careers

7 things I learned at adult summer camp

Jesse Itzler leads a morning walk and talk about our relationship with time and money.
Source: Jon Cornick
Jesse Itzler leads a morning walk and talk about our relationship with time and money.

This summer, while my daughter and other kids went to summer camp, I spent a weekend at what you might call an adult summer camp … at Sara Blakely and Jesse Itzler's house.

No, it wasn't all running around throwing water balloons in our Spanx (Sara is the founder of Spanx). The idea was "Live Life for a Living," and it was a chance for the grown-ups, so use to worrying about our kids' development and happiness, to take time out to network, learn and escape from our everyday lives to the idyllic setting of Candlewood Lake in Connecticut.

The "campers" were a diverse group of 50 business professionals from all over the world –from authors to zoologists. There were daily seminars on a variety of topics from entrepreneurship and mental toughness to time management and happiness; relaxation and rejuvenation activities, including morning yoga, hikes, massages and cold plunges; plus waterskiing, cliff jumping, boating and some late night entertainment by Def Jef and Arrested Development.

I've known Jesse, the co-founder Marquis Jet and author of "Living with a Seal," for almost 20 years and I met Sara when they started dating. At the time, I didn't know what Spanx were. (Now, I completely understand that most women wouldn't be caught dead without their Spanx on, with everyone from the Tina Fey to the Kardashians confessing to wearing them.)

The setting for Sara Blakely and Jesse Itzler’s adult summer camp, themed “ Live Life for a Living,” at Candlewood Lake in Connecticut.
Source: Jon Cornick
The setting for Sara Blakely and Jesse Itzler’s adult summer camp, themed “ Live Life for a Living,” at Candlewood Lake in Connecticut.

The weekend was a great way to clear your head, reflect and really be present in the moment. And it was amazing to hear how all of these different people approached success. It made me think: We send our kids to camp to learn skills for life, but how cool is it to check back in on success — and what's working — as adults.

Here are 7 Things I learned at adult summer camp:

Twenty minutes in the morning can set the tone for your day. Kristen Race Ph.D., an expert in child, family and school psychology and author of "Mindful Parenting," explained how there's so much we can't control throughout our busy days. But we can control our reaction to things. And a simple 20 minute early morning meditation can keep paying dividends until we go to bed. By starting the day calm it increases our chance of having a productive day.

You must constantly evolve. Frank Shamrock, the MMA fighter of the decade for the 1990s, said he had to constantly evolve in order to be successful. He's the first to hold the UFC Middleweight Championship and retired as the four-time defending undefeated champion. As a fighter, he didn't want to become predictable, he knew that everything works, but nothing works forever. And one of the ways he continued to evolve is by what he calls a plus, minus, equal system. He found someone ahead of him to learn from (the plus), he found someone equal to him to share/learn from and he found someone who was coming up behind him (minus) to give back as much as he could. And he continues to implement his system in all facets of his life.

Success is a choice. Alan Stein, a world-renowned performance coach, has worked with some of today's NBA elite. And one thing these superstars all have in common — great habits. When Stein attended a 4 a.m. workout with Kobe Bryant he was shocked to see the first hour dedicated to basic fundamental basketball that kids learn in the 3rd grade. He asked why the greatest player in the world does such basic drills. Bryant smiled and said, "Why do you think I'm the best player in the world? Because I never get bored with the basics." And Stein furthered his point, saying, "Success is not a result of what we do occasionally. It's a result of what we do all of the time." And so, as Stein puts it: We choose our habits. Our habits dictate success. Therefore, success is a choice. The key is to take our own inventory: Are our habits of today on par with the dreams for tomorrow? Studies have shown that up to 90 percent of our daily actions are habitual. "How you do anything is how you do everything."

See it—Feel it. Geeta Nadkarni, an award-winning journalist, television personality and founder of "Baby Got Booked," which teaches entrepreneurs how to do their own PR, taught the group how to use visualization to push our success forward. We need to see it and feel it in order to achieve our goals. And we must recognize when we're empty, change our physical state and connect to nature. Just the act of going outside and putting our bare feet on the grass will help re-shift our mind.

Don't wait for someone to 'discover' your product. Host Sara Blakely talked about how, in theinfancy stages of building her billion-dollar company, she knew that store employees weren't as motivated to sell her product as she was. So for two years straight, she rotated between Neiman Marcus store locations across the country and spent all day selling her own product. She'd meet with the staff in the morning, brief them and then hang around the store selling Spanx until it closed. She also reached deep into her Rolodex and called everyone and anyone she'd ever met. Blakely asked them to go purchase Spanx with a script memorized, "Excuse me, can you tell me where to find Spanx? I keep hearing from all of my friends it's the greatest product and I need to get some." And in return she'd mail them a payment out of her own pocket to cover the costs of the purchase. What she was doing was selling the salesforce and it worked.

Jesse Itzler explains his concept of the “Happiness Meter.”
Source: Jon Cornick
Jesse Itzler explains his concept of the “Happiness Meter.”

The Happiness Scale. Host Jesse Itzler asked the group to rate themselves on a scale of 1-10 of how happy they were—in life. The majority of people felt pretty good about raising their hands when he said, "Who's a seven?" But then he pointed out that if your child comes home with a 70 on his or her math test—it's a C-. And who's okay with a C- in one of the most important aspects of their life? The solution is to identify the two or three things preventing you from being a ten on the happiness scale and everyone was easily able to identify those issues. And that's what they should be focusing on today to improve.

There's no replacement for old school networking. Many of us pour time and energy into social media as a form of networking. But over the weekend the most I saw a phone being used for was a camera. Everyone involved in the retreat spent quality time together — truly getting to know one another. And since the weekend, I've been in contact with almost everyone who attended and have started to build lifelong relationships that will be mutually beneficial.

Kids today are addicted to their phones. I'm so glad we send them to camp in the summer — so they never forget the value of person-to-person interaction. Now, we just need to send more adults to summer camp!

Commentary by Turney Duff, a former trader at the hedge fund Galleon Group. Duff chronicled the spectacular rise and fall of his career on Wall Street in the book, "The Buy Side." He is a commentator on CNBC's "Filthy Rich Guide" and a consultant on the Showtime show, "Billions," starring Damian Lewis and Paul Giamatti. Follow him on Twitter @turneyduff.

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