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Wall Street may be whirling about Facebook and Twitter's brushes with Congress, but CNBC's doesn't believe the hype.
"I've got a sneaking suspicion that the so-called experts who bloviate about the death of advertising on the web don't actually, you know, communicate on the web," the "Mad Money " host said Thursday.
Cramer argued that in reality, the endless chatter around big advertisers pulling their weight from the social media platforms was misinformed.
"Look, the goal of advertising is to connect with users, especially younger users who are still impressionable. Despite all of the hostile Congressional hearings and the naysayers, I don't think those users are going to abandon social media," he said, pointing to the popularity of platforms like Instagram, which is owned by Facebook.
"There are plenty of millennials who think that Facebook's terminally uncool. But does anyone honestly believe it's as uncool as CBS? " he asked. "Would the younger generation rather watch sitcoms and police procedurals than mess around on Instagram? I don't think so."
As to drag on the on Thursday, Cramer grew weary of Wall Street's perpetual scramble to find the root of the problem.
"Whenever we get one of these tech breakdowns, there's always a tendency to play 'Pin the Tail on the Sell-off,'" he said. "Is it a slowdown in demand for digitization? Is it regulation cutting into growth? Is it a change in consumer behavior? It would be so darn easy just tp say, 'A-ha, this is the big reason, there's a sea-change and it explains everything.'"
But the problem is that when people get too rigorous in their search for a glaring problem, they can end up being wrong, Cramer said.
"That's because there's no sea-change in this technology business. Not at all. This sell-off is all about the mechanics of the money management business," he said. "As I told you in Tuesday show, in September as people try to take profits before someone else takes them for you. "
So Cramer put his hedge fund hat back on to explain the real causes of the recent tech weakness. Get the full analysis here.
Chairman and CEO Brian Roberts may have been less disappointed about with the for parts of than he was about the aftermath.
"We found it was undervalued. We put in a price. Eventually, Disney offered more and we walked away," Roberts, whose company owns NBCUniversal, which owns CNBC and CNBC.com, recounted to Cramer in an interview.
But "one of [his] disappointments this year" was that "people then took that and made a narrative that said we didn't love our core business when, in fact, our core business is having a renaissance," Roberts said on Thursday.
Describing a Comcast that has "pivoted" from being a traditional cable and entertainment provider to a technology-focused monolith, Roberts — whose company is still in the throes of bidding on European cable giant Sky — said his focus has turned to innovation, content and connectivity.
Watch and read more about his full interview here.
A fantasy team isn't the only thing Cramer's drafting this football season.
This time, the "Mad Money" host took inspiration from his fantasy football roster and applied it to his investment strategy: he built a fantasy stock portfolio.
After all, an investment portfolio is in some ways a team of stocks. Having a diversified portfolio is just like having a great team with an assortment of skills.
Click here for Cramer's top "draft" picks for his fantasy stock portfolio.
Cramer also got the chance to interview former Philadelphia Eagles tight end Brent Celek, who gave Cramer a glimpse of life after football.
"I got into the restaurant industry, and when I did that, I think I realized the value of real estate and that's what turned me into real estate," Celek, who helps run what he calls a "full-service real estate company" in Philadelphia, told the "Mad Money" host.
"I love real estate. I've bought, sold homes. I've developed. I'm building my house right now. But at the end of the day, I want to get into the selling, the transactions," he said. "Me and my partners, we bought into a brokerage."
Now, Celek, who is an avid investor and said he "loves" the battleground stock of Tesla, is planning to push the limits of what his growing company can achieve.
"It's kind of a full-service real estate company that we started here in Philadelphia three years ago and it's starting to grow really well right now and I think I can just add to that," he told Cramer.
Watch Celek's full interview here.
In Cramer's lightning round, he zoomed through his take on fans' favorite stocks:
: "No. CarMax? We don't want to be there. On the car situation, I remain a believer that the cars have peaked and we don't want to touch anything involved in that sector."
: "No. Because you just said it right – legendary CEO. . I'd wait to see who they get next. That man was bankable. "
Disclosure: Comcast is the owner of NBCUniversal, parent company of CNBC and CNBC.com. Additionally, Cramer's charitable trust owns shares of Facebook, Comcast and Disney.
Programming Note: Watch the NFL Kickoff on NBC tonight at 7:30 p.m. ET.