If there's one thing we know about fights and conflicts, whether inside or outside the office, it's that angry people often look for reasons to stay angry.
Hardly anyone will ever come up to you and furiously say, "You know, rather than being angry, I'm just going to stare at you and remind myself of all the reasons I really do like you." (Wouldn't that be great, though?)
Instead, your angry colleague might dredge up something you said in a meeting last month, just as an angry boss might reference that one time you missed a deadline. An angry spouse might stir the pot by complaining about how you missed the family holiday party last year.
Why exactly does this happen? According to psychologist Harry Mills, anger is defined as "feelings of pain combined with anger-triggering thoughts" that can sometimes motivate a person to defend themselves by striking out against their target. This allows them to feel justified in their anger.