Psychology and Relationships

I've spent 20 years setting people up with millionaires—here are my 7 rules for dating and marrying rich

Olivia de Recat for CNBC Make It

As the "Cupid of Silicon Valley," I've helped thousands of people find long-term relationships through my matchmaking service, Linx Dating. Many of my clients are affluent; I charge my VIPs hundreds of thousands of dollars.

There's nothing wrong with dating for money. Many people I know don't take offense if someone admires them for their money, especially if they worked hard for it.

If you're thinking this sounds like something from the 1950s, know that about a third of my wealthy clients are women who are looking for love, no matter their suitor's net worth.

After 20 years of matchmaking, here are my rules for dating and marrying an ultra-wealthy person:

1. Have your own set of accomplishments.

I'm not talking about a massive bank account, but something that you've made on your own, like a career or side hustle you're proud of, or a personal goal you achieved.

It shows that you have your own interests and motivations, and that you aren't seeking out a partner solely for their wealth. Plus, it's attractive to think big and make things happen for yourself.

2. Be prepared to sign an NDA.

My high-profile clients require all potential matches to sign non-disclosure agreements (NDA) before meeting. This allows them to share more of themselves on dates.

Olivia de Recat for CNBC Make It

Once a couple enters the serious "we're getting engaged" stage of their relationship, the prenup talk usually happens.

3. You may need to be discreet.

The most affluent people value privacy and tend to maintain a lifestyle that lets them blend in and not draw too much attention. 

At times, you'll need to be discreet, let your social accounts go dark, and not flaunt the lifestyle that their money affords you.

If follower count and being an open book online is important to you, a relationship with one of these VIPs may not be for you.

4. Have your own personal life.

The best relationships are like two people who orbit one another in space. They each do their own thing, have their own lives, and don't depend solely on each other to be happy.

Before even meeting a potential partner, you should already have a baseline of happiness from within. Focus on your friendships, your family relationships, and your relationship with yourself.

5. Be flexible.

Many wealthy people have complex lives — divorces, challenging financial situations, stressful business transactions, complicated relationships with their children, and a whole lot of drama.

Be ready for last-minute plan changes and jam-packed schedules. Essentially, you will need a ton of inner strength and a trusted social circle to vent to in order to endure rough patches.

6. Stay grounded.

High-profile people can sniff out a disingenuous date in a nanosecond.

Keep the focus on your relationship and off of the perks of your new experiences. Don't freak out when your date flies you private or introduces you to a celebrity friend.

Not only does this make you more attractive to your partner, but it also keeps your mind clear and helps you decide whether or not the relationship is right for you.

7. Have a prenuptial agreement.

Not all marriages are built to last. Keep in mind that divorce comes at a huge financial cost. Part of that are the lawyer fees, which you can avoid via mediation or collaboration on your own divorce agreement.

Having a prenup can protect you if you decide to end things. It can also help prevent divorce by enforcing mutual investment arrangements that strengthen and preserve your marriage.

Amy Andersen, a.k.a. "The Cupid of Silicon Valley," is an internationally acclaimed matchmaker. As the founder of Linx Dating, she has spent 20 years working with the most eligible men and women of the San Francisco Bay Area and beyond. Amy lives in California with her husband, who she has been married to since 2008, and their son. Follow her on Instagram, Twitter, and Tiktok.

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