Morning six-pack: What we're reading Wednesday

Former senior Chinese politician Bo Xilai
Getty Images
Former senior Chinese politician Bo Xilai

Happy Wednesday. Anybody know the over-under on how long until the next Wall Street bank investigation is announced? It's something to contemplate as you check out the morning six-pack:

Expect volatility ahead, says Pimco's Mohamed El-Erian. Investors are looking for "credible signals of solid growth prospects" outside of massive Federal Reserve monetary easing before believing the market rally is for real. Good luck with that.

Consider this our daily rupee update: Despite intervention from the Reserve Bank of India, the national currency has hit a new low, earning its title as the Canary in the Coal Mine of the Day.

Remember Bo Xilai? The former high-ranking Communist party official in China goes on trial Thursday on bribery and charges relating to his abuse of power. While Bo is likely to be found guilty, the trial could provide a rare peek behind the curtain of Chinese politics, and some officials there are getting pretty nervous about the whole affair.

This is the most amazing story ever that's kind of about German Chancellor Angela Merkel: Seems a Turkish bodybuilder identified only as Volkan T. got on board a private jet Merkel uses and "proceeded to stage a raucous, one-man party. Reports said he stripped down to his underpants, sprayed fire extinguisher foam around the elegant cream and beige interior, pushed buttons in the cockpit, released an inflatable emergency slide and danced on the wing of the Airbus 319." Awesome, completely awesome.

The rupee is not the only currency in trouble. In case you haven't noticed, the U.S. dollar is pretty much getting its butt kicked as well. How low can the greenback go? It's anybody's guess.

And, finally ... widely followed banking analyst Dick Bove is sure regulators are lying in the weeds for JPMorgan Chase. He made his case Tuesday on CNBC's "Closing Bell." If you watch the video closely, you'll see a familiar NetNet face on there helping the discussion along.

_ By CNBC's Jeff Cox. Follow him @JeffCoxCNBCcom on Twitter.