Somebody's Sister
She doesn't try to use sex appeal to further her career — just the opposite. She saves that for the weekends. She shows up every day ready to work and never appears hungover. She can be spotted crossing the avenue holding a salad and a kale shake.
The Really Good Looking Bad Boy
He was valedictorian, three-sport captain in high school and majored in charm. With his modelesque features and charismatic smile, he'll steal your heart — and your 401(k). Do you really think the Devil would dress like the Devil if he were actually the Devil?
Read MoreSmackdown! The best fights on Wall Street
The Husband Hunter
This girl has no desire to climb the corporate ladder. She's on Wall Street for one reason and one reason only: fishing in a husband hatchery. She doesn't care about Sheryl Sandberg; the only reason she's leaning in is to show you her cleavage. (Call me.)
The Stephen Hawking and Bridget Jones Love Child
He made it to Wall Street because he's scary smart — and you want him on your team — but he's so socially awkward it's painful. He can even sneak the word "duration" in explaining how long it took him to go to the bathroom. Still, there's something lovable about him.
Austin Powers
He's just a dude — laid back and works relatively hard. But he's undercover. You can't catch him talking about business unless he's at a steakhouse with other suits. He secretly rolls his eyes at Wall Street jargon and it's hard to catch. He won't mention he works on Wall Street until the third date — but that's why she falls for him.
Read MoreAdvice for summer interns on Wall Street
I'm Doing God's Work Man
He's the busiest guy on Wall Street — just ask him. He wears his uniform proudly and acts like trading stocks is as important as finding a cure for cancer. He can be found yelling at his wife through his cell phone at all hours of the day.
The Unusual Suspect
He's a family man. His office is adorned by 3rd grade artwork and soccer photos. He'll kick back a couple drinks with you at a bar near Pier 11, Grand Central or Penn Station. But once the clock strikes 6 p.m., he'll limp out of the bar like Keyser Soze, then gradually pick up the pace to a full on sprint when he hits the sidewalk to catch the next train.