Outsourcing To America: How Should I Respond? You Tell Me

OMG! After writing my previous blog, I received the following email. No lie! (ok, I've edited it down because it runs on...)

So, please email me with suggested responses at funnybusiness@cnbc.com.

Here's the email:

"Dear Sir/Madam!

Would you like to work online from home/temporarily and get paid weekly? We are glad to offer you a job position in our company, Prisma Desiran Sdn. Bhd.

We need someone to work for our company as a representative in the United States.

Presently, we are faced with some critical problems most especially with our Payment methods as most clients we have in the United Kingdom prefer to pay us with Certified Cashier’s Cheques or Personal cheques rather than cash. We find it very cumbersome in accepting such payments due to the new monetary policy in our banking systems here in Malaysia and this is cri! ppling our business.

ABOUT THE JOB
We have decided to deliver the products upfront to our customer in the United States, it's very risky but it should push up sales to about 35 percent. Thus we need to get payments for our products as soon as possible because customers can just "forget" to pay.

YOUR TASKS ARE
your task is to coordinate payments from customers and help us with the payment process. You are not involved in any sales. Our sales team sells products. Once he makes a sale we deliver the product to a customer usually through UPS and DHL. The customer receives and verifies the products. About 90 percent of our customers in the United States prefer to pay by Certified Cashier’s cheques or Personal cheques based on the amount involved. We have decided to open this new job position for solving this problem.

JOB DISCRIPTION
1) Receive payment from Customers
2) Cash Payments at your Bank or any Cashing Point
3) Deduct 10%, which will be your Commission on Payment Processed
4) Forward the remaining balance via local money transfer after deduction of your 10% commission/pay to our head office. (Local Money transfers take barely hours, so it will give us a possibility to get customers payment almost immediately)."

Ok, the email goes on and on. Apparently they claim to sell embroidery or something and all I have to do to start making money is email back with all my info. So, what should I say?

Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com