I've taken the classes. Read all the books, etc... I still have a mental block (fear) and have a really hard time cold calling. Any new ideas you can offer, besides the usual.
- Robert S. from Detroit Michigan
Dr. Doug's Answer:
Thank you for emailing me.
Fear - One of my favorite topics and it is probably the most commonly cited performance blocker there is.
The secret to overcoming your fear is to forget about trying to "get rid of it." Instead, welcome it. Make it your friend. Talk to it. It does not mean you are going crazy, it just means you are "normalizing it."
If you can view FEAR as an indication that you are ready and excited to be doing something interesting and powerful rather than viewing it as a proof that you will freeze up or fail, then you will be well on your way to taking control of it.
To help you get more comfortable with the concept of fear, I would suggest that you do an inventory check of "what is the worst that will happen?"
You get rejected?
Get told you are an idiot?
Get laughed at?
Truthfully SO WHAT!? what is the big deal? Who really cares? You will always, always get another chance to do it again.
So really, what is the worst that could happen? When you think of it in those extreme terms then it really is not that bad, is it?
If you are fearful that you dont know your sales pitch, then practic it...over and over and over until it becomes second nature.
Role-playing is another good stragey to help you normalize the "fear" feeling.
You can do this by having a friend act like the person on the other end of the phone and give you hard questions, let them be nasty to you, even laugh at you...that way you can make each real call knowing that there is NOTHING that person can say that you have not already heard.
Stop taking yourself so seriously and stop taking other people's opinions so personal.
The truth is fear is probably not the real issue here...it is probably more about your self-esteem. And that, Robert is all you.
you want to work on that? then start to remind yourself that you are "The Man!"
look in the mirror and smile, remind yourself of your skills, talents and accomplishments. These types of self-affirmation exercises will help you solidify your internal confidence.
Remember, you are THE MAN. if you dont believe it, there is no chance anyone else will either.
You cannot expect to hit a great shot out of the bunker unless you have practiced that shot thousands of times.
And in the end, please remember one thing, Robert...
Feeling "fear" is not a problem - how you behave based on that "fear" is all that really matters.
Start today by getting comfortable with being uncomfortable - it really is a choice you get to make.
"Fear causes hesitation and hesitation causes your worst fears to come true"
Chew on that for a bit.
Thanks again for the email,
- Dr. Doug
My question is about getting my service business in front of higher end clients? I have found that it's very hard to get my company name in front of them and to get information about my company to them without it first going through assistants and I want to make sure that the information is getting to them, and I want to get in in front of more of them.
- Kevin A. from Danbury, CT
Dr. Doug's Answer:
Remember, the assistants are there for a reason.... to make sure you get filtered first. their job is to make the executive's job easier.
With that in mind, the assistants can be your best shot at getting face time with the right people...after all, the assistants keep the schedule and know who is going to be where, doing what.
Make every possible effort to buddy up with the assistant.
Get to know their name - be personable... be real... even funny, if possible. If they like you and your story, they can fast track you to the right people.
I had a similar situation where i was trying to get face time with the head of a major financial institution.
My name was just another name, but i was able to separate myself from other people by getting on the good side of the assistant... it took patience and time but i i let her get to know me, my story, what i was trying to accomplish and most importantly WHY i needed to get face time with the executive.
After some good old fashioned schmoozing...i knew i would get my shot...not because i was so special but because she wanted to help me.
Lesson learned, the assistants are tremendous assets... treat them like after thoughts and you will find yourself out in the cold.
Thank you for the email.
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