Your kid is bulging. His name is Mark. He doesn't want to talk about the past. He forgets the English language. He starts misremembering things. You suspect he might be up to something.
So what do you do? Until now, your options would be limited.
But now, there's a real test you can give him to see if he's taking performance enhancing drugs. Thanks to the folks at Confirm BioSciences and its new test "SteroidConfirm," you can test for 17 different performance enhancers right in the comfort over your very own bathroom.
If you're kid is using any of these drugs, you're in luck: Tetrahydrogestrinone (THG), Boldenone (Equipoise), Hydroxyboldenone (Metabolite), Clostebol (Steranobol), Clenbuterol, Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA), Testosterone, Epitestosterone, Oxymesterone (Oranabol), Oxandrolone (Anavar), Methyloxandrolone, (Metabolite), Stanozolol (Winstrol), Hydroxystanozolol (Metabolite), Flouxymesterone (Halotestin), 6B-Hydroxyflouxymesterone (Metabolite) and Androsterone, 19-Norandrosterone (Metabolite).
You can pre-order SteroidConfirm starting today, by clicking right here.
It's April 2, so I swear this is NOT a joke. The kit cost $145.99. The kit includes a syringe within a sealable tube to minimize accidental spills or transport damage.
Questions? Comments? SportsBiz@cnbc.com