Your Emails: Moe, Flo And Plato?!

From Marcus K., on how proposed "fixes" to the mortgage mess aren't helping the homeowner:
"Money is cheap, banks are moving billions, the discount window is open...WAIT !!! Dear pundants, bankers and voting Fed govs, if Moe and Flo homeowner could refinace to a lower rate and REDUCE their nut, where would they spend said new found cash...hmmmm? I called our friends at Countrywide after recieving a letter enticing me with a rate reduction on my loan formally known as 'jumbo'. Ha! Jublilation crushed. I was informed by the consoling operator that any loan one dollar above $417k has added premium points, pushing a loan that should be in the 5 percent range into the 7's. NO reduction...all this congressional blather about conforming this and jumbo that adds to ziltch in getting Moe and Flo's cash into 'The economy stupid.'"

Pat G. says she works for a lender. She got a call from a real estate agent arranging "short sales" (homes selling for less than the mortgage is worth) who referred to Pat's business as "the stupid bank":
"I'm wondering if the agent is reducing her commission? Why is it okay for the seller to lose money and the bank to lose money, yet the Real Estate Community continues to earn their full commission?

I feel that the Real Estate Community is now starting their own Predatory Sales Approaches. Advertising homes as 'short sales' or 'pre-foreclosure' is just wrong. There are no 'short sale' listings! Everyone is told upfront, we can't pre-approve a short sale. Hence, the need for a contract. It's not a 'short sale' until the Lender agrees, period. So to advertise it as such is misleading to the general public. Potential buyers feel the Lender has already approved the home for a short sale, and that it will be an easy steal."

AND THE MOST ESOTERIC EMAIL OF 2008! From Jim G., in response to the Pentagon selling scrap metal from old warplanes, but insisting buyers break up the metal into tiny pieces for national security reasons, as some fear it could end up in the hands of the Chinese. Jim first asks sarcastically:
"But I'm sure the Chinese wouldn't do anything bad with this scrap metal...would they?"

He then quotes the e.e. cummings poem "Plato Told," which refers to scrap metal from a New York elevated train ending up Japanese bullets during World War II (I told you it was esoteric!):

plato told

him:he couldn't
believe it(jesus

told him; he
wouldn't believe

certainly told
him,and general

and even

(believe it

told him:i told
him;we told him
(he didn't believe it,no

sir)it took a nipponized bit of
the old sixth

el;in the top of his head:to tell

Note from Fake Jane: WHAT THE...?

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