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Before Heading To Nevada, First Do Some "Manscaping"

If you saw my previous post on the BunnyRanch in Nevada offering customers a double-your-pleasure special for those paying with their stimulus checks, well, here's something to consider before you head to the Silver State.

I've learned a new term--Manscaping--and apparently all men need it. Described in a press release from Beverly Hills "laser queen" Dana Elise, manscaping is "cleaning up the superfluous fur on a man" using "strategic de-hairifying...to avoid looking like a caveman." De-hairifying? De-horrifying! She included what I assume are before-and-after pictures, seen here. Kinda subtle.

chest_man.jpg

AND FOR THE BUNNIES
There's a whole new business of plastic surgery to fix...plastic surgery. Dr. Brent Moelleken specializes in facelift revisions. Here are some of his signs of a facelift gone wrong!

-The face appears odd or excessively tight. (duh)

-"The Pixie Ear Look." The ears have been elongated and the ears are gone or 'melted' into the face. (yikes!)

-Parts of the face don't match.

-"Nike Swoosh look." Excessive elevation of the sides of the face with sagging of the area below the eyes.

-The odd look. You can't quite put your finger on it, but something is wrong!

Using this checklist, everyone in Beverly Hills has a facelift gone wrong. Good news for Dr. Moelleken! He can provide a do-over that will make your face look less pulled-up than Big Brown at the Belmont. Techniques include a "superficial cheeklift" to fix problems with overly-stretched lower lids. Yes, that ought to fix everything.

YOU'RE SO VEIN
Fixing facelifts isn't the only new territory for the beauty industry. Vein-removal is looking up. Up above the varicose veins on legs. Dr. Alexander Cadoux, who works at the same clinic pitching "manscaping," is now offering vein-removal for veins elsewhere on the body, "including augmented breasts." He provided this image.

chest_woman.jpg

Geez! Is anyone even looking at her veins? But apparently every cosmetic procedure now requires several fixes. I call it the "Fake Jane" syndrome.

YOUR EMAILS ON FLYING FAT
On yesterday's post about suggestions by some that airlines charge customers based on their weight:

From Alan C:
You'd think setting airline ticket prices was rocket science. If you're not making money, raise the price! More volume at a loss per unit of volume is a bigger loss, not profitability. Frankly, I wouldn't mind paying more for my wide butt (and long legs) if I'd actually get a seat as big as it is, instead of expecting it to shimmy into a seat designed for a size 0.

From Mike N.:
Pay to use the toilet on the airplane? I'll bring a plastic jug..

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