On my post about www.UrbanDictionary.com havingno definition for "Madoff", you all provided a few suggestions:
From Thomas Z.:
"Madoff: Someone who has made off with your money before you know what has happened. Someone who makes you really MAD (and) p*@#ed OFF whenever you think about what he has done to you."
Bob O. suggests:
"Anyone who scams others more than one million US$ on a ponzi scam...e.g. 'He is a Madoff.'"
MORE FAKE "MADOFF" APOLOGIES/EXCUSES:
For the contest! (please submit your best "Fake Madoff" apology by Christmas Eve):
From Louis Lipson:
"I did it because all these investors were expecting big returns. That's right, I did it for them. They wanted big returns, more than anyone else was paying. And I wanted them to like it, and like me. In fact, love me. It made me feel good for so long, giving them what they wanted. After all, look how many of my clients were so happy for so long. If only the impatient ones didn't get nervous about their money, I was going to carry on giving them what they wanted. It was growing and going fine. But then this damn recession, stock market problem, subprime crisis, liquidity crunch and bubble thing happened. Then I couldn't take it anymore. I only did it for them."
Clark Jenkins' "Fake Bernie" keeps it short and sour:
"It's not like I am the only one doing this ...Paulson is doing it and you aren't going after him!!!"
MADOFF'S NAME, AND THE MADOFF COCKTAIL
Mark B. wonders about Bernie Madoff: "I'm probably not the only one to think of this, but I understand the infamous Mr. Madoff's name is pronounced 'May-doff.' Could that be as in 'He made off with all our money'??"
Mark, maybe the question now is "Was the SEC paid-off by Madoff?"
And on the holiday cocktails which represent these unprecedented times, Bill S. suggests:
"Here's my recipe for the Madoff Cocktail: Borrow one part gin; steal two parts vodka; pretend to add three olives but remove when no one is looking; shake vigorously in the cocktail shaker that you shoplifted from the store; pour into dribble glasses but only one-third of the way and then top off with foam. Finally, double bill the patron and pocket the proceeds."
Meantime, someone asked me what kind of booze might go into the "Capitulation" cocktail? I say it's merely three shots of tequila in one glass. Nothing else successfully says "I've thrown in the towel."
Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email firstname.lastname@example.org