MC Hammer Jumps On Gold-Melting Bandwagon

Everyone it seems is getting on the gold bandwagon, from hedge-fund whiz David Einhorn to that lady on the Cash4Gold commercial who “sent in her diamond wedding band from her first marriage and got cash the very next day!”

Ah, the smell of melted gold and charred love. It’s the new apple pie!

So, it shouldn’t have come as any surprise that financial trainwrecks Ed McMahon and MC Hammer showed up on Super Bowl Sunday, ready to toss the golden remnants of their success on the Cash4Gold pyre in exchange for a small chunk of change.

There was Ed McMahon, who used to deliver the giant-sized Publisher’s Clearinghouse checks, ready to send everything from gold cufflinks to his golden commode to the meltdown shop to save his house … and maybe his career.

And, MC Hammer, who has apparently reversed his “Can’t Touch This” policy, ready to rip out everything, from his gold record on the wall to his golden sledgehammer — and watch them burn.

La Times blogger David Sarno reported Hammer was so excited about the whole thing, that he sent out a tweet on his way to Tampa, saying: “"Got to work that Super Bowl ... 'Melting Gold Baby' .... fun commercial !!!"

OK, Hammer. I feel you. Man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

But when I saw you ready to sell those famous genie gold pants that had me and my friends tripping over our own feet to do that fast-footed sideways move, I had to say ...

Please, Hammer, don’t hurt the pants!

I don't care how bad the economy gets.

You can’t touch the pants.

Doom doom dee doom ah ah oom oom ah ah
Doom doom dee doom ah ah oom oom ah ah


Selling the pants hits me
So hard
Makes me say “Oh, my Lord!”
Thank you for blessing me with all those rhymes
And sideways dance jives
It feels good when the economy’s down
To watch that on YouTube for one more round

But you know it’s too much —
That these are the pants … you can’t touch!

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