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Your Emails, And "The Godfather" Is "Pointless Garbage"?

A few emails, some nice, some not.

Kay wrote in about video I linked to showing how to keep squirrels off your deck:

"That sadistic reader of yours should be arrested for cruelty to animals, and you should be cited for encouraging the same."

On Lenny Dykstra's fight with his insurance company, Fireman's Fund, Gil N. writes:

"This guy seems to be a head case who has lost touch with reality. No more air time for him!"

Trent G. wrote in after seeing how torn up Dykstra's mansion is as the baseball legend attempts to prove water damage:

"All the items missing can be sold on the secondary market - such as eBay. The commercial range, flat screen TV (above the fireplace), light fixtures, lighting controls, and chandeliers. Why would water damage effect a fittings from a 3-story chandelier to require removal? My guess is that he's cash-flowing from the proceeds."

From Nate T.:

"Mr. Dykstra has many problems. When you interview him on television, he looks...completely out of it. He changes his mind on bankruptcy, insurance, housing problems etc. Give it up on this guy. I don't think you need to interview him anymore..."

Regarding the Great California Garage Sale, Jason J. writes:

"If I could only get an autographed dental chair…Always a bridesmaid never a bride…"

From Mike N: "How about if Queen Jane Wells signs her John Hancock on the auction items for sale? It would be worth a lot more than Arnold!"

When I posted photos UC Irvine professor Robert Mancuso took of an empty mall parking lot, that got a response from Stephen P.:

"Good article. Most of the malls in my area, which is near Ann Arbor, Michigan, are empty. And they have been empty for almost a year. I was a security officer at a major mall of which I was laid off this June. Mall traffic is way down. As a matter of fact I don't even see people window shopping anymore...Granted, the stock market may be up, but peoples spirits are down..."

Gary L. checked out my Funny Business Product of the Week:

"I have one comment to make about Bottoms Aspray...PU!"

Finally, for a great laugh this weekend, check out "The dk Report", a blog which has scoured Amazon.com for people who actually gave classic books, movies, and music poor reviews. These are real reviews.

Some of my favorites:

"The Godfather"--"This movie is so long that I played it on my TV, drove across the state, and when I came back, it was still playing...it's completely pointless garbage."

"Lawrence of Arabia"--"HOW ON EARTH THIS WON BEST PICTURE IS BEYOND ME. WHAT WAS RUNNER-UP 'WATCHING PAINT DRY'?"

"Annie Hall"--"We eventually decided that BOTH (Woody Allen and Diane Keaton) tie Jar-Jar Binks for 'Most Annoying Screen Persona in History'!"

"Anna Karenina"--"This 80000000000000000000 page 'book' isn't just boring and depressing, he was trying to convince us that life is boring and dull...Make sure you don't let the novel slip from your hands as it would probably break your foot."

"The Sun Also Rises"--"If Hemmingway took out every reference to drinking the book would be about 10 pages long."

"Of Mice and Men"--"It would have been a better book if Steinbeck had put more effort into it.

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com