Sex Sells, But Does It Sell Well?

Two things to ponder while you head into a weekend of frivolity.

Sex sells, but at some point... just stop.

First, HOTLOGO sells custom condoms. It's latest offering has a new...twist...from the Swedes. HOTLOGO will be distributing Kaffix condoms from a company called Pharmacia Latex Akteibolaget, which believes it has solved the age-old problem of men being too tired to talk after sex. It's created a "novel transdermal prophylactic delivery system" which puts benzocaine and caffeine into a man's system through his condom, to, well, keep him stimulated after he's no longer stimulated.

The Kaffix condoms are "designed to keep men from falling asleep after sex as a result of higher levels of hormones that are secreted during male orgasm; proloactin and oxytocin that facilitate the onset of sleep." Oh, really...that's why you don't wanna talk? Too much oxytocin? Mm hmm. The company says the product has been approved for sale in the EU, and will be sold in Sweden starting in 2010. HOTLOGO reportedly plans to start selling it here in six months. Gentlemen, you've been warned. No more excuses.

Secondly, 7-11 wants to get you all worked up about...coffee (yes, another story that links sex with caffeine). The new "711 club", which is rated "H for hot", promotes the chain's new Brazilian coffee. The "club" is an interactive room full of beautiful people in Rio, people like Enrique, who appears to be wearing Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt. Click on one of the hotties and you're offered a variety of pick up lines, including—and I'm not kidding—"I'm a love pirate and I'm here for your booty! Arr!" Try that on Enrique and he'll laugh and say, "I like your spirit!" You can ask people to dance, or leave the club, or, like in real life, dump them for someone else. Not sure how this sells coffee, but I did spend way too much time on the site. By the way, if you ever see any of these people in an actual 7-11, please let me know.

  • Slideshow - This Year's Hottest Halloween Costumes

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com