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Things Aren't Worth What They Used To Be

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We keep talking about deflation.

Here are three disturbing examples you won't hear from Ben Bernanke this week.

First, Sex.com is up for sale, but sex doesn't sell like it used to . The adult content site sold for a record $14 million back in 2006 to Escom, which reportedly can no longer pay its debts. Traffic was only about 120,000 visitors a month, according to the International Business Times —not good.

Perhaps it's the name?

A little too honest?

Wouldn't it be more attractive to call it Romance.com? Love.com?

Bidders at the March 18th auction have to show up with a $1 million certified check to participate, but no one expects the winning bid to be anywhere near the previous price. Escom has discovered what so many others have learned before: sometimes sex just isn't worth it.

The second example of recession-run-amok involves the Funny Business equivalent of "extreme makeover, home edition". Except this makeover didn't improve the house, it destroyed it.

Cincinnati TV station WLWT reports that Terry Hoskins got into a huge spat with the IRS over his carpet business/commercial property after his brother sued him. His brother was his business partner, and things went south.

Note to self: don't do business with family.

Somehow, the bank got involved and wanted to take Hoskin's house as collateral, a home he built from the ground up. The bank moved to foreclose even though the home is reportedly still worth more than the mortgage. The facts don't all quite add up, but one thing is certain. In a nation angry at banks, Hoskins took action. Rather than let the bank take the house, he bulldozed it to the ground. It's a big mound o' nothing. His business goes up for auction next week, and WLWT reports that Hoskins may level it as well. ?

Our final example of twisted deflation involves parenthood. Parenthood used to be worth something. Now it's worth nothing. In fact, it's worse than nothing, it's destroying the planet. I received a PR pitch which read, "Parenthood is one of the most environmentally damaging choices we can make as consumers today."

They're not talking about diapers or the carbon emitted from teenagers.

No, parenthood is bad for Earth because mom and dad are forced to buy baby products. "It takes the equivalent of about 50 plastic yogurt containers to produce a single infant bath tub - just one of the many products parents dispose of after less than a year of use." It goes on to pitch an interview with a "mompreneur" who's recycling stuff to make baby bath tubs.

But, hey, why not stick with the original premise?

Parenthood damages the environment. Let's just stop having kids and remove humans completely from the planet so people will stop blaming people for everything.

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com