Boston Market obviously spent money developing the warning, designing how it would look, and then printing it on every single cup.
That's quite an investment for the equivalent of telling me, "Please insert straw into mouth if you wish to drink soda."
Though, technically, it doesn't warn against putting the straw in one's ear or any other orifice besides the nose.
Are we really that stupid?
Don't answer that.
And so what if we stick straws in our noses?
My dad was an expert straw-in-the-nose comedian, a tradition I've carried on, usually to the dismay of my children.
A second possible explanation is that Boston Market's legal department is in overdrive. Did someone sue the chain because the straw got too far up his nose and caused damage? Was he snorting Coke? (As opposed to snorting coke).
A third explanation is that someone at Boston Market has a great sense of humor.
The message is laughable, and perhaps it's being delivered with a wink.
Provide your own possible explanations in the comment section below.
I've placed a call and email to Boston Market's PR rep. When I get an answer, I'll let you know.
Meantime, don't read this on your mobile device while driving. Or iron your clothes while wearing them. Or stick your finger in a socket.
Or put a straw in your ear (unless you want to embarrass your children).
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