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Tax Day Goodies!

Happy April 15th!

Some people complain they’re paying more in taxes this year because they’re “rich”. Why is it that so many people considered rich by the IRS don't consider themselves rich at all? What makes one feel rich? $100,000? $1,000,000? $10,000,000?

Taxes
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Taxes

My 17-year-old son is not rich. He has a part-time job after school working at a bagel store, and this year he’s getting a refund from the IRS…for $1. He owes nothing to the state, nor will he get anything in return. But to file both returns online at one time, he paid $10. So he’s down $9.

Someone told me the following story about a married couple. Both partners worked their way up to high paying jobs, and they eventually built their own home and had a couple of kids. As their taxes went up, they decided to take the following drastic action:

“The house they built is on the corner of, let’s say, Oak and Elm. There just happened to be a driveway to each street and they put a mailbox at the end of each driveway. Without telling anyone, they filled out some quickie divorce papers and began filing taxes as single head of household each with one minor dependent. He lived at 123 Elm St., and she lived at 456 Oak St., which just happened to be the same house. The money they saved was sizeable but, just to make sure, they saved every penny of it plus 10 percent for penalties just in case they got caught.“

Eventually, after their kids went off to college, and with retirement on the horizon, the couple went to Vegas and remarried.

Wow. Not only is that illegal, that’s kind of extreme.

I recommend against breaking tax laws, no matter how much you may want to.

Instead, enjoy some tax day freebies! Here are a few businesses trying to lighten your burden this April 15th without sending you into a lower bracket.

FREE CUPCAKES

Cinnabon is offering two free bite-sized cupcakes April 15th from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. at participating locations in malls as part of “Tax Day Bites!” But wait, there's more! You can win $100 in an essay contest.

FREE COFFEE

Starbucks is offering free brewed coffee all day if you bring your own mug.

FREE DESSERT

MaggieMoo’s is offering a free slice of ice cream pizza from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m.Thursday at participating locations.

CHEAPER MEALS

Boston Market is offering a “last-minute tax break”—one free meal for each one you buy through Sunday with this coupon.

P.F. Chang’s is offering 15 percent off food purchases (excluding happy hour and alcohol).

McCormick & Schmick’s is offering a dinner and drink special in the bar Thursday for $10.40 in honor of Form 1040. Professional tax preparers, who probably have to work until midnight, can get dessert on the house Friday along with a $10.40 gift certificate if they show a business card.

How EZ is that?

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com