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Why Bears Have the Upper Hand

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Are we in a cyclical bear market?

A secular bear market? Whatever.

The bulls don't have a chance.

Here's why.

Watch as this bear at the Asa Zoo in Japan shows how easily he can work over a five-foot stick, kung fu style.

If he can manipulate sticks, can't he manipulate stocks?

Move over, Kung Fu Panda.

You've been owned.

The bear video appears real, though the UK Telegraph says it hasn't been authenticated. The person who claims to have shot and uploaded the video—going by the online name alexbuzzkentaroguy—insists it's all true (and he's already selling T-shirts).

Marc Bekoff, an animal behavior expert from the University of Colorado, thinks the video is legitimate.

"I would guess this is the result of extreme training and would find it hard to believe the animal taught itself this spontaneously," Prof. Bekoff told the Telegraph.

"You can train seals to balance balls on their noses and train elephants to paint with their trunks, so why not this."

If bears can do kung fu, time to teach bulls how to lock and load.

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