British vs. American English — It's a constant source of friction for a global news operation. "Fights" become "rows," prepositions get dropped, and labor gets spelled with a "u." American editors like me become constant scolds.
One of our more prolific London writers, Patrick Allen, sent this in to show what our news copy could be like:
Just got back from the rubber tub and the word at the near and far was that this market is just pony.
"I was earning a monkey a day last year and now I'm lucky to get a pink lady in my dustbin," Tarquin Smith tells CNBC.
And he wasn't alone — Others are predicting Barney Rubble if things do not change soon.
‘It’s bright and breezy, mate. Someone needs to get these muppets around the Cain and Abel and tell 'em we are cream crackered of all their north and south and want someone in charge with a Scooby Doo,” Rupert Jones, a market trader from Romford’s, said about the current crisis.
- Did we lose you? Check in with this handy British-American dictionary
Others were in agreement that things need to change.
“You cannot trust the value of the bangers and mash at the moment. First that muppet Gordon Brown wasted all the bees and honey and now we have David Cameron with his mince pies over my tax code,” says Gideon Reece-Jenkins. “It’s enough to drive you to the Nelson Mandela only the government nearly takes a Lady Godiva on a pint of pig's ear."
The mood was probably best summed up by Harris "Bite ya Legs" Braude, a market trader from Bow.
"When I think what these people have done to our great country I just want to get my German bands and wrap them around someone’s Gregory Peck. All you get is rabbit and pork when what we need is a wad of pink ladies in the sky rocket to take trouble and strife for a slap up bubble and squeak."
Jeez, would the Queen really approve of that English?