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Memo To Larry And Jamie: Mike Bloomberg Cannot Win

To: Larry Fink, BlackRock; and Jamie Dimon, JP Morgan Chase

Re: This Ridiculous Idea Of Getting Mike Bloomberg To Run For President

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AP

I am writing because I think it’s important the we nip this thing in the proverbial bud, guys. Michael Bloomberg will never be the president of the United States and you are simply going to make yourselves look foolish encouraging him to run.

Mike’s very popular on Wall Street. You hear it all the time, from Republicans, Democrats, Independents and even the anti-political. Muscle your way into any of the water-holes guys on the Street push into after the market closes and you’re unlikely to find one harsh critic of the mayor.

Much of this popularity is deserved. He founded and ran a spectacularly successful company. He’s a brilliant man. He governs well a city that was once considered ungovernable. He gets the idea that, in general, Wall Street is New York City’s General Motors: what’s good for Wall Street is good for the city and vice versa.

Some his popularity is not so well deserved. Let’s face it. You guys like him because you feel like he’s one of you. He goes to a lot of the same parties you do. Shows up at the right charity functions. He dates women you find attractive. You even admire him for his wily independence. Guy takes off for weekend vacations without telling the press where he’s going. You know that Christine O’Donnell advertisement you had such fun laughing about? Mike could say the same thing: “I’m you. I’ll go to Washington and do what you’d do.” And he’d be right, at least when it comes to you guys.

Here’s the deal, gents: those things you like about him—the accomplishments and the culture—guarantee he cannot get elected. The rest of America hates Wall Street right now and it is deeply suspicious of New York City. It’s not going to elect a guy who made a fortune pandering to the needs of Wall Street or whose biggest supporters are financial titans.

The rest of America likes their politicians the same way you do: they like to see themselves in those they elect. At the very least, they like to imagine that the president would like them. Not many people around the country look at Mike and see their own reflection. Not many will get the impression that Mike really, genuinely would like to be their friend.

He doesn’t stand a chance of being nominated by either party. As an independent, he’d flunk because most of the independents are even angrier at Wall Street than party-affiliated voters.

In conclusion, guys, let’s drop this idea as soon as we can.


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