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Holiday Drinks on Wall Street: The Flash Smash

Has your portfolio performed like gold this year? Or do you feel like QE2 is aimed at you personally?

Women drinking cocktails at a club.
Women drinking cocktails at a club.

Raise a glass regardless to welcome the holidays, drinking special Wall Street-related cocktails developed by financial PR firm Cognito.

Cognito has been coming up with special holiday drinks for the last few years—who can forget 2008's "TARPtini"?

This year, one of the cocktails has been "banned" by the SEC.

THE FLASH SMASH

"This invigorating muddle of guava, tequila and lime will knock you down then bring you back up instantaneously!"

THE O TEA C DERIVATIVE

"Our version of the Long Island classic, this mix of spirits is highly liquid yet dangerous for the untrained."

COINTREAU-TATIVE EASING

"Favorite tipple at the Fed, this orange liqueur cocktail is sure to stimulate - but too much can cause a massive headache."

NAKED ACCESS

"Cut out the middle man and ask the bartender to pour your shot of choice directly into your mouth! EDIT: THIS DRINK CHOICE WAS RECENTLY BANNED BY THE MANAGEMENT. EMAIL mschapiro@sec.gov FOR MORE INFORMATION."

What, no Dodd-Frank drink? Cognito's Dan Simon says they tried, "but realized that it would require too many ingredients to practically implement."

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