For Sale: The Unabomber's Montana Land

Admit it: You've got a manifesto in you, don't you?

Cabin belonging to Ted John Kaczynski, Lincoln, MT
Cabin belonging to Ted John Kaczynski, Lincoln, MT

Maybe it's about holiday shopping. Maybe it's about government spending. Maybe it's about that idiot who didn't know how to drive this morning.

Well, this is your lucky day: A parcel of land in Montana, perfect for a manifesto, is up for sale.

It belonged to Ted Kaczynski, aka "The Unabomber."Remember him? He was the Harvard-educated mathematician with a PhD who moved to a remote cabin in Montana to enjoy the wilderness but instead went on a 20-year mail-bombing spree that killed three people and injured 23. He targeted universities and airlines, which is why the FBI — and later the media — dubbed him the Unabomber (UNiversity and Airline BOMBER.)

It didn’t work out so much for him — he’s doing life at a maximum security facility in Colorado — but you, on the other hand, can enjoy this nice, 1.4-acre parcel of rugged Montana wilderness for the low, low price of $69,500.

Real-estate agent John Pistelak wasn’t shy about the property’s famous former resident in the listing: “Own a piece of infamous US history! Home of the Unabomber!”the ad reads.

And, that $69,500 is a steal: The price was originally more than double that at $154,500 but it wasn’t moving so they slashed the price.

Of course, the property was pretty much ransacked by the FBI and Kaczynski’s shack was moved to the Newseumin Washington, DC, but you will, no question, own a piece of history. The only structure left on the property looks like a little roof propped up on logs, with a chain-link fence around it. A tree has “FBI” scrawled on it in thick, black letters. The terrain is rugged — and that’s putting it mildly. There’s no running water or electricity on the property, so you’ll get as close to Mother Nature as any human can.

The ad suggests it’s perfect for fishing and hunting, but to get back to our original point — it’s already been proven to be a perfect location for manifesto-ing.

The U.S. highway system was an incredible achievement for this great nation and the development of civilization but the Morning Commute and consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have destabilized my mood, created a giant hole in the morning positivity and inflicted great indignities on a people already incurring psychological suffering from the hours of 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Part I: The Psychology of the Failure to Signal Before Cutting In Front of Another Driver …


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