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When PR Goes Bad—Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers

Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers
Source: prospectmx.com
Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers

One area of growth in the downturn has been public relations. With so much bad news, companies have found the benefits of hiring outside professionals.

Not everyone is spending their PR dollars wisely.

The recession has not slowed down the daily blast of irrelevant pitches stuffing my email inbox.

Here are three pitches I got this morning:

"BLAST APPLICATIONS (BLAP) ENTERS DEFINITIVE LICENSE AND SERVICE AGREEMENT WITH INTERACTIVE. LTD"

Just because your headline is in all caps doesn't make your message any clearer. I still have no idea what you're talking about or why I should care.

Or this:

"BHI STAFF PROVIDE HAIR AND WIG FOR 15 YEAR OLD GIRL. ALLOWING HER TO FEEL BEAUTIFUL ON HER QUINCEANERA! GREAT LEAD IN TO FEMALE HAIR LOSS STORY"

I'm happy for her, but do you watch CNBC? Do you know what we cover?

Finally:

"TRAINING WEBINAR: Tools and techniques for managers who manage teleworkers—MANAGING THE 21ST CENTURY WORKFORCE"

Catchy! A webinar! Who wouldn't want to...cover....that...zzzz....

About three times a year I don't immediately hit the "delete" button on the out-of-the-blue pitches. Yes, about once every four months I respond! What sometimes happens after that? Watch this video sent by one of the absolute best PR professionals in the business, Nick Ragone at Ketchum. It's a hilarious spoof of his business, as a PR rep can't wait to help a reporter working on a business story about chocolate covered grasshoppers. It doesn't end well.

By the way, I did get one press release this morning which caught my eye: "FDA warns consumers to avoid Man Up Now capsules."

Now that's a tease. Unfortunately, I think that, as a nation, we need more Man Up Now capsules right now, not fewer.

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com