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This Valentine's Day: Kill Germs and Romance

Did you see the Chevy commercial in the Super Bowl where the guy checks his Facebook page, hands free, after dropping off a date, happily discovering that the woman he just said goodnight to has already declared online it was the best first date ever?

Fortunately, he didn't hold open her apartment door for her.

Just in time for Valentine's Day, Clorox is releasing a study showing that dirty thoughts can lead to dirty consequences.

According the study, bachelor and bacherlorette pads are hotbeds of sex — germ sex.

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For example, "Bachelors and bachelorettes planning breakfast in bed may want to rethink their plans," says the study conducted by microbiology professor Dr. Charles Gerba of the University of Arizona,. "Sixty-three percent of bachelors' nightstands and 60 percent of bachelorettes' nightstands tested positive for bacteria."

That's all? Let's be honest. Bacteria are everywhere. I'm sure even the most anal retentive among us can't kill 'em all. Though Clorox would love to have you try.

But wait, there's more!

"Watching a romantic comedy at home may ruin the mood...remote controls are the surface with the highest number of total bacteria in bachelor pads." I assume that means higher than toilet seats...

It's not just a male problem. Single women have their own weak spot. "According to the study, more than twice the number of bachelorette doorknobs were contaminated with bacteria."

Clearly the only solution (besides abstinence?) is to bring along Clorox as a precondition to any sleepover. But in the act of killing germs, you may kill the romance. On the other hand, maybe you'll get lucky, in more ways than one.

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com