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This Fat Tuesday, America Wins

A blog post that is sure to make the fat police angry.

As I surveyed the human flesh crowding Waikiki last week, I noticed a marked difference between Americans and everyone else.

We're fat (and covered with a lot of ink).

pizza-food-pyramid.jpg
Source: Reddit

Everyone else, mostly tourists from Asia, are trim and tattoo-free. They're also desperately looking for someplace to smoke.

As we approach Fat Tuesday, it's time to consider whether the real battle for global supremacy isn't about better ideas or better weapons. Instead, it may be about the least deadly habit: our guts versus their lungs. Who'll be the last man standing?

Currently, the CIA says people born in Japan and Korea can expect to live longer than those born in the U.S., though we're still ahead of Taiwan and China.

But these rivals for economic growth are watching their populations smoke like chimneys, while Americans are smoking less. The Centers for Disease Control says about 443,000 Americans die of smoking-related disease each year, compared to 112,000 who die due to complications related to obesity (though this figure comes from 2005).

Of course, if we continue to gorge ourselves, those numbers could flip flop. But as you head into Lent, a season of fasting and sacrifice, at least consider the possibility this Mardi Gras that being "gras" isn't as bad as being a smoker.

For one thing, nobody's ever died from second hand fat.

WINNING!

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