×

Man Cans, Dirty Drawers and Sex — It's the Funny Business Men's Issue

It's gonna be another rough day for Anthony Weiner. The funny business he may have engaged in has apparently cost him his job.

Here are three pieces of advice.

ManCans
Source: man-cans.com
ManCans

First, he should buy some Man Cans to chill out.

Man Cansare candles with manly scents, candles for men who retch at the smell of Vanilla or Lavender.

These candles have scents like New Mitt, Campfire, and, yes, Bacon.

As if the smell of bacon isn't reason enough to make a purchase, buying Man Cans is also a vote of support for America's entrepreneurial spirit, as the company was founded by Hart Main of Ohio.

He's 13 years old.

"I created Man Cans when my sister was selling candles for school, and I realized how much I hated those girly scents," he says in this YouTube pitch. Thank goodness there are still boys in this country who have the guts to say such things without being sued. Still, this is 2011, not 1951. Hart is a capitalist with heart. He's making the candles out of recycled soup cans and labels—and sending the soup he removes to a soup kitchen.

A second item of interest for soon-to-allegedly-be-former-Rep.-Weiner: he's not the only one who has to clean up. This news comes courtesy of a new "study" from Clorox. One in eight men confess to wearing their underwear two or three times between washes.

They confess this. How many don't?

"My underwear was, uh, hacked. That's not me wearing dirty drawers!"

The study also found that men 18-29 only wash their bedsheets about once a month, and more than half of all men allegedly rely on a "sniff" test to determine if they can wear something again before washing it. No word on how many women are guilty of the same crimes.

Clorox proposes two "solutions." One is to stay single, as half of all boyfriends get help with the laundry from girlfriends, compared to only ten percent of husbands who get help from wives (a figure I STRONGLY dispute—nine out of ten wives don't do their hubby's laundry? Really?). The second solution is to download Clorox's myStain app, which will dispense with stain removal advice.

I'd like to propose a third solution, the No Wash Underwear.

Finally, maybe Rep. Weiner can blame it all on where he's been forced to live much of the year. Trojan reportsthat Washington, DC is in an area of the country with the least amount of sex, while Weiner's home base in New York is in a region with the most. However, the city with the most sex in America is Los Angeles, where the average number of "encounters" is 135 times a year. Please do not tell my husband this number. Trojan also reports nineteen percent of Americans "have engaged in sexting", though we don't know how many of them are members of Congress.

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com