If you're putting off going to the mall, put off by the holiday crowds, I'm afraid it's not going to get any better.
Better to stay home and shop online naked.
This is a thing now, apparently.
PayPal released a survey on holiday shopping behaviors and determined something a lot of us already knew: It's ugly out there. At the mall, two out of three of those surveyed said they've witnessed drivers in the parking lot cut each other off in traffic.
More than half have seen "pushy strangers in line" or "shoppers yelling at a store employee." Then there's my pet peeve: Fifty-three percent have seen someone park in a handicapped spot who wasn't supposed to. That should be a felony, especially at Christmas.
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It's no wonder people prefer to shop remotely, either from home or the office or Starbucks or in the parking lot across the street from the parking lot at the mall.
PayPal said 86 percent of customers surveyed plan to use a mobile device to do at least some shopping this holiday, and the company predicts shopping lines will be history in five years.
Technology (gee, like PayPal's!) will bring an end to "one of the most annoying and inevitable experiences, the long shopping line."
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So with no more lines, no more people to cut off, no more employees to yell at, no more handicapped spaces to park in illegally, how will shopping change? It'll turn into a party! PayPal said one out of three people in the survey admit to shopping online in their jammies.
Fifteen percent like to drink alcohol while they shop, and 11 percent "like to shop completely naked."
One crucial number is missing: the number of people who shop while naked and drinking alcohol. I suspect there's some crossover. Suddenly holiday shopping doesn't sound so awful.
—By CNBC's Jane Wells; Follow her on Twitter: @janewells