If Warren Buffett were an Olympian ...

Peyton Manning and the one that got away …

Is Chris Christie up for this job ...

And if Warren Buffett was an Olympian ...

It's time for "Something Completely Different" with CNBC's Jane Wells and Sheila Dharmarajan—news the way we like it—all sarcasm all the time.

(Read more: Who'd you rather? The Federal Reserve edition)

—By CNBC's Gloria McDonough-Taub.