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Zombie-proof cabins: The latest in apocalypse chic

I was deep inside north Georgia "Deliverance" country. Just me, my dog, and a sudden, paralyzing fear that I might get violated in the woods.

Carelessly strumming guitar chords out on the back deck of my rental cabin, I hadn't considered that old John Denver tunes might just be some seven-toothed hillbilly's mating call.

"Seriously? 'Annie's Song?' That's what drew you here?"



Mggggggh... brains.
Getty Images
Mggggggh... brains.

Of course, this was just irrational fear based on a fictional 1972 movie. And in these parts, there are far more legitimate, real-life concerns. Like zombies.

After all, Georgia is also home to "The Walking Dead." And, looking back, I'm not quite sure my rustic mountain getaway was safe for riding out the great apocalypse.

One can only throw so many needlepoints at the undead.

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But don't laugh. Staying safe amid such dire possibilities is serious business. And what better time to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse than the start of a new year?

It's either that or quit smoking.

UK-based Tiger Log Cabins now offers special zombie-fortification cabins, perfect for protecting you and your family from being eaten alive.

You know, if that's the kind of thing keeping you up at night.

The Zombie Fortification Cabin (ZFC-1) — a place to hide your brains when the zombies come.
Source: Tigerlogcabins
The Zombie Fortification Cabin (ZFC-1) — a place to hide your brains when the zombies come.

For just a shade over $110,000, you, too, can own the ZFC-1, which is being touted as "the world's first and only certified* Zombie Proof Log Cabin."

The barbed-wire covered fortress is built with extra thick interlocking timber, leaving only enough room for protective slit windows, toughened by double glazing.

Mmmmmm … double glazing.

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In all, it's three separate, independent sections, joined together with lockable doors. So, if you can't shoot the zombies from the rooftop sniper deck, they'll have to get through three different sections to finally murder you in the living room.

The ZFC-1 includes a couch, fireplace and kitchen for your comfort during a zombie apocalypse.
Source: Tigerlogcabins
The ZFC-1 includes a couch, fireplace and kitchen for your comfort during a zombie apocalypse.

The one with the Xbox and turntables. Because it comes with those, too.

Do, however, notice the asterisk when they say it's certified to keep you safe.

There's a 10-year safety guarantee attached to the ZFC-1, but to redeem any refund you'll have to prove sound medical evidence that you were attacked by actual zombies. So, when buyer's remorse sets in, good luck hashing that one out with your doctor.

"Sir, I'm a licensed physician. I can't in good conscious, write such things."

"Understood. Well, how 'bout a handful of Viagra samples?"


The ZFC-1 includes a home gym so you can be in peak physical form when the zombies arrive.
Source: Tigerlogcabins
The ZFC-1 includes a home gym so you can be in peak physical form when the zombies arrive.

Tiger Log Cabins is based in Leeds, and is part of the TigerBox Group who also runs a sister company for Tiger Sheds. And while there's been "genuine interest" in their zombie fortress — mostly from America where the company doesn't actually ship — they still haven't sold any units on either side of the pond.

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In fact, as of right now, the design exists only in digital form — the cabin was rendered using SOLIDWORKS, a 3D CAD architecture system. But they assured me this is absolutely real, and it all snaps together. So, maybe it's time to start saving now for next Christmas.

"Mommy, why didn't Santa bring me a bike?"

"Because he brought Daddy a place to drink with his degenerate friends."

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The company's managing director, Russ Moran, explained that interlocking log cabins are popular in the UK, and says the housing market has influenced some people not to sell their homes and move, but, rather, to expand within their current property with a little backyard pre-fab.

Because, really, when you just need to get away from the family, as some of you may have experienced this holiday season, garden cabins are the perfect place to sit around and not wear pants. (Though, to be fair, I've said the same thing about Whole Foods.)

Pants or no pants, even a true zombie-proof cabin is useless without weapons. So, TigerBox recommends somehow accessorizing your fortress with a water cannon and flame thrower.

Neither of which I had at my rental in north Georgia.

Zombie fans seem to be enjoying this whole cabin idea. So much so, that, despite no actual sales, they're leaving creative five-star reviews in the names of fictional characters from zombie pop culture.

"Rick Grimes" wishes he had one.

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The point is, when the apocalypse arrives (and it will) the ZFC-1 is an option. Maybe. All things considered, it's still just a snap-together cabin, and I have my doubts about its overall strength.

Thus, when the zombies finally come for me, I'll probably just barter for my life.

"Hey, zombie, how 'bout a handful of Viagra samples?"

Commentary by Jarrett Bellini, senior producer for CNBC Digital Video. Follow him on Twitter @JarrettBellini.