For Cramer, the biggest problem is the degree of speculation that went into the analyses.
"Like 'Aladdin,' like 'Lion King,' the story is fiction," he said. "Apple hasn't done any big deals like this, although the company did say in one conference call that they're open to them."
That openness is the crux of the issue — neither company is likely to comment on the speculations, so the thought-out scenario these analysts presented cannot be contested.
And although Cahall argues Apple might do well to move away from hardware and better technology at Disney's theme parks could create "a leader in content creation and distribution that could top Netflix, Google, and Amazon," the odds of an acquisition remain slim.
"The fact is that if you buy Disney's stock on this, I'd tell you that you might as well believe in Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck and Han Solo and Captain Marvel and anybody else in the stable," Cramer said.
Dreaming about strong possible mergers is no new tale on Wall Street, from Kraft-Heinz and Unilever to T-Mobile and Sprint to Facebook and Snap.
But Cramer noted that it's possible that Apple CEO Tim Cook and Disney CEO Bob Iger, who also sits on Apple's board, may not want the companies to merge.
"The only thing that's really accomplished by this kind of speculation? The short-sellers will be afraid to bet against Disney's stock because of newfound fears of a takeover lurking. It really does put a bid underneath, simply because it was just too juicy to ignore," Cramer concluded.
Questions for Cramer?
Call Cramer: 1-800-743-CNBC
Want to take a deep dive into Cramer's world? Hit him up!
Mad Money Twitter - Jim Cramer Twitter - Facebook - Instagram - Vine
Questions, comments, suggestions for the "Mad Money" website? email@example.com