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More Pet Love, Intergalactic Iced Tea, Bra Centennial & Office Chatter

Today's Installment of "We Love Our Pets More Than Ourselves"

Depressed Dog
Depressed Dog

On the heels of Eli Lilly's new anti-depressant drug for dogs (your dog is depressed? TAKE HIM FOR A WALK), a viewer alerted me to a new drug from a small company called Vical, in conjunction with Merck and Sanofi-Aventis. They've come up with a vaccine to treat melanoma in dogs. SKIN CANCER IN DOGS? Pretty soon, our dogs will need help for every other human dilemma, leading to doggie drug rehab, breast implants (lots), and a subprime meltdown putting them in the doghouse.

Galactic Market Grab

Snapple is seeking exclusive distribution rights to a newly discovered planet 20 light years away. The company says "The Best Stuff on Earth" wants to be "The Best Stuff in the Universe," and believes staking a claim now gives it "first-to-market advantage."

Victorian Secret

The bra, I am told, is 100 years old this year, replacing the corset. But after all this time, a

Today's Installment of "We Love Our Pets More Than Ourselves"

AP

California plastic surgeon named Dr. Edward Pechter says women still don't know how to pick the right bra. So he's selling "a foolproof measuring system to help women find the most accurate bra size called Size Me Up!" To use the system and find your right bra size, Dr. Pechter says "all a girl needs is measuring tape!" Which is new, because before, all you needed was a... measuring tape.

Office Chatter

I mentioned in an earlier post how much I hate corporate speak -- vapid phrases with no meaning. Or words with five syllables when one will do. You wrote back.

From Bradley P: "Jane, how could you have forgotten 'going forward'?!! You're on CNBC for heaven's sake!"

And this howler from Mike B: "How about 'de-scope,' as in 'that part of the project has been de-scoped.' Huh? It means that one part of the project was removed. Why not just say that!? And don't get me started on the improper use of the verb 'migrate.' 'The jobs were migrated overseas.' Why not just say 'moved.' How does one migrate birds? I think birds just migrate on their own."

I'm off to Louisville to cover pre-Derby stories. Will blog when I get back. Email me with any craziness in the business world that just doesn't make sense at funnybusiness@cnbc.com.

  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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