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Dr. John Eliot's Blog - Being an SOB

Do you want to be #1, the very top of your field? Then you have to have an edge. You have

to be ABNORMAL. Nobody has ever changed the world by fitting in, following the established rule, or worrying about pissing someone off.

It takes bucking the trend and, frankly, some big kahones to re-write the record books. You have to be willing to go where no one else dares. You have to be comfortable being controversial, being criticized by your peers.

So that’s exactly what we did on the show. We made an extreme point—and I gladly volunteered to take it on the chin. We labeled it being “an S.O.B.”

PLEASE UNDERSTAND: We’re NOT talking about having poor values, lacking morals or ethics, or doing anything to hurt someone else. Don’t be a “jerk”. Don’t take being an S.O.B. literally. Being an S.O.B. is a metaphor for the kind of thinking it takes to be the best. Here are the keys:

- Spend less time worrying about criticisms you might receive if you take a shot at greatness. The reason I jumped up on the chair was to make the point that the nation was all over Tom Cruise for his “audacity” on Oprah. But he allows himself to really be in love, no reservations or hesitation, no holds barred. That’s why he has so much success.

- Spend less time trying to liked by everyone. Donny knows a thing or two about branding and sales. As he says, “It’s better to have thirty-five percent of people really charged up about you and the rest hate you.”

- Spend less time pursuing safety and comfort. Professor Deepak Malhorta from Harvard made the very accurate point that many people’s performance level drops in the face of pressure. The problem is that our society has responded by labeling stress as the enemy. It’s not. It’s the reaction to pressure that matters. Instead of eliminating stress we need to be teaching everyone the same psychological skills used by people like Tiger Woods whose performance level goes up when it’s crunch time.

If you’d just transfer a little bit of the time you’d ordinarily spend doing these three things—and use it instead to take action, you’d be more triumphant. Period.

And why?

Because the majority of your competitors are not willing to really put themselves out there, all the way, with their full heart and conviction. The people who do are often misrepresented as arrogant... or worse.

They’re also the ones in the lead.

So give yourself the advantage of resisting socialization. Instead of misinterpreting the whole “S.O.B.” concept, instead of constantly worrying about what others think of you, take a page out of my book and think like the great ones do—think like Pat Croce, think like Donald Trump, think like Donny Deutsch!

Dr. John Eliot is the author of Overachievement, available on Amazon.com and at www.overachievement.com. Dr. Eliot can also be booked as a speaker or consultant via www.leighbureau.com.