- Revenge of the Gangsta Nerds
- It's Beginning To Look A Lot More Riskless
- Topless Business Is Taking Off
- Gambling Drunk, Texting to Live And America's On Sale - Your Emails
- The Lloyd's Prayer, Leggo My Eggo, Plate Hate & Your Emails
- Help Wanted—Please Run $4 Billion University
- Madoff—The Holiday Drink
- Drugs, Booze and Vegas
- Happy World Toilet Day
- Coffee, Tea or My Ad?
MOST SHARED
- US Shoppers Spent Less Over Black Friday: NRF
- Tiger Woods Wants to Protect Family Privacy: Agent
- UAE Stocks Tumble on Dubai Woes; Asia Rebounds
- Dubai's Nakheel Seeks Suspension $5.25 Billion in Bonds
- South Korea Sees Exports Bouncing, but Risks Remain
- Japan Won't Intervene to Weaken Yen: Finance Minister
- Dubai is Harsh Reminder of Prolonged Global Recovery
- Tiger Woods Wants to Protect Family Privacy: Agent
- Portfolio Prep for Next Week: 'Don't Get Crazy'
- U.S. Stocks Fall on Dubai Worries
- Black Friday at Best Buy
- Strategists on Dubai: Avoid 'Rash Moves' Now
- Longer Lines, Fuller Carts This Black Friday
- Dubai Stock Market Fear Has 'Legs': Dennis Gartman
- Obama's Emission Reduction Pledge Paints Future for Autos
- Is Super Bowl Halftime Act Too Old?
- Regulators Compile Global List of 'Systemic Risk' Banks
- UAE Central Bank Stands by Banks Amid Dubai Crisis
- Dubai's Nakheel Seeks Suspension $5.25 Billion in Bonds
- US Shoppers Spent Less Over Black Friday: NRF
- True Cost of 12 Days of Xmas Tops $87,000
- US Senator Opposes Fed Chief Bernanke Renomination
- A Weak IPO Debut for Las Vegas Sands' Macau Unit
- NBC and Comcast, a Takeover for Hollywood to Watch
- Woods Has Nothing More to Say to Police: Agent
RSS FEED
Funny Business
![]() |
Madoff Toilet Paper |
It's Richard Pertz, of New York. Pertz was the first to suggest Madoff should be forced to work for the SEC, and he added some creative "performance bonuses":
"Sentence him to life working everyday for the SEC, finding people just like him who haven't been found yet...Give him leave to go walk in Central Park for an hour everytime he finds another crook, and leave to go to a very good restaurant for dinner everytime he turns up somebody who whacked the public for upwards of $100,000,000. Other performance bonuses can be created. Never mind his rotting in jail; it might feel good, but does nothing for us but force us to feed him. He's very smart, very experienced, and we should put him to work catching people just like him."
It's interesting that the winning entry did not involve hard time, but productive time.
Pertz will now be the lucky recipient of his prize—Bernie Madoff toilet paper.
More Madofff Coverage:
- Bernie Madoff's New Digs: From Penthouse To Outhouse
- Madoff's Victims: What They Say About Swindler
- What Madoff Said In Court
Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email








