Just a couple minutes ago, I became the first person to eat the 5,000-calorie Fifth Third Burger , which has pretty much been the talk of the nation this week.
To clarify, I really tasted it because, let's be frank, you would like me to continue writing this blog well into the future.
On Monday, we named the extraordinary meat delight our "Minor League Concession Item Of the Year. Thanks the publicity we helped generate, the team selling the burger for $20, the West Michigan Whitecaps, sent us a present: A Fifth Third Burger.
It came in many pieces, so they sent instructions as to how to assemble the thing.
Not wanting to miss a beat, here's how it went.