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Jeggings — This Year's Cruel Plot

There are very few must-have items going into Back to School, but one item analysts are keen on is jeggings, pants which combine the fit of leggings with the look of jeans.

"Jeggings (are) flying off the back-to-school shelves faster than you can say 'OMG!'" says Hitha Prabhakar of the Stylefile Group. She says skinny jeans and jeggings made by Joe's Jeans are selling well at Nordstrom and Macy's , one reason Joe's stock is up 170 percent in a year.

Goldman Sachs calls jeggings one of the hot trends this fall, leading to this photoshopped picture of the newly "hip" Lloyd Blankfein.

Wedbush Securities calls them "the standout apparel trend," while Sterne Agee & Leech reports that "some stores could barely keep them on shelves, while others weren't selling as well."

Jeggings
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Jeggings

While this is clearly a trend worth watching, just don't look too closely. It ain't pretty.

Jeggings qualify as the hardest piece of clothing to put on. I picked up a pair at Walmart for $5. I think I can fit one arm inside. In a nation that's suffered through a decade of bare midriffs, super tight jeggings threaten to turn human muffin tops into full-fledged souffles. Why, ladies, why? Is this a plot by Jenny Craig? Sadistic men? Mean girls who only weigh 80 pounds?

On the other hand, once you finally manage to shoehorn your way into a pair, they are kinda comfy. Problem is, you have to suck in your gut so much it sort of defeats the purpose.

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

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  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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