This morning, a day after the world went gaga over a Royal engagment, my producing team for Worldwide Exchange in London thought it would be funny to have a split screen of me and the future queen of England.
Lapin Middleton
Beyond any momentary laughter at a trivial stretch of a psychical resemblence, it got me thinking about the fiscal power this young woman could have to change a storied (and currently broke) nation—known for being home to The Beatles and Shakespeare but more recently austerity measures ($128 billion over 4 years) and deficit woes (10 percent of 2010-2011 GDP).
So if I were the future queen, I’d...
- Adopt the David Cameron way of flying
- Tell Europe to bugger off
- Leave Ireland to wims of Darwinism
- Make use of public buildings by making them all into tourist attractions
- Ban multiple 15-minute work “smoking breaks"
- Convince William to stop trying for Trident (The cold war is over, darling)
- Market and export our fine delicacies: mushy peas and spotted dick
- No more iced tea—Turn off all those bloody freezers to save energy
- Cucumber sandwiches only- Meat is way too expensive
- All jewelry should be hand-me-down
- Only plant perennials outside the Palace
- Get rid of the flashy BMW Metropolitan Police cars
- Sell the "Copper's" copper to China
- Only plant perennials outside the Palace
Oh, and I’d elope...
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