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New Holiday Cocktail - The Vodker Rule

Photo By: David Gallagher

It's that time of year. You can't escape it. Every time you turn on the TV, there's one of those Lexus "December to Remember" commercials. Every time you walk into Starbucks, you're hit with the Christmas music. It's not even turkey day yet and everyone's already breaking out the red and green! As one friend in public relations told me, "Turkeys and Thanksgiving need a new PR person."

Maybe you need to unwind before the stress of the holidays set in with a drink.

On cue, the folks at Cognito Media, a PR agency for the financial sector, has released its annual list of special cocktails to better help you occupy Santa. In the past, these drinks have included the TARPatini and The Madoff ("If you order it, the bartender drinks your cocktail and you're left empty-handed").

Here are a few drinks Cognito will serve at this year's industry holiday party Dec. 8 in New York.

The NasDaiquiri - "A new take on an old institution. Served with extra ICE."

Austeritini - "Dry martini; no olive, no apple, no pomegranate and definitely no TWIST." (From Jane: I think it should have an olive...a Greek one with a bitter pit.)

The Rogue Lemonader - "UBS? No, we’re serious! This lemon-based cocktail is delicious. It does however cost $2bn."

The Vodker Rule - "Breaking all the regulations, this mixer blends ingredients that legally should be kept separate."

And my favorite...

The 99% - "Rebel against those greedy corporate liquor companies and treat yourself to a drink that never asks for too much…water."

I'm told if someone orders "The 99%" on Dec. 8, the bartender has been ordered to just pour a glass of water.

Any other suggestions for year-in-review drinks? I have one:

The Super Screw-mittee -a traditional Screwdriver with holes in the bottom of the glass. No matter how much you pour in, you fail.

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

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  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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