How to Spend the Powerball $550 Million
By: 
Congratulations. This time Thursday you will be wealthier than your wildest dreams. YOU are going to win the Powerball jackpot which, at the moment, is $550 million. (Read More: Can You Guarantee a Powerball Win?)
So, what are you going to do now? Buy Disneyland?
Here are some suggestions. You may notice a theme.
—Buy Hostess.
—Build a cliff, and push Congress over it.
—Make the Kardashians go away, or at least some of them. You may need more than $550 million to buy off the whole family, but it should be enough to at least get rid of mom.
—Give every member of Congress a million bucks to do something productive, and you'll still have $15 million left over!
—Pay off most of your kid's college tuition (you won't have enough to cover the entire tab).
—Buy the island of Lana'i back from Larry Ellison and ban members of Congress from ever visiting it.
—Have a really good time in Vegas. Really. That town needs your money.
—Rent space on five SpaceX launches to outer space and fill the Dragon space capsule with members of Congress.
Many people on Twitter say that if they win, they'll give a lot of money away to charity, buy houses, and more than a few are interested in buying Hostess. (Read More: Plan on Winning That Powerball Jackpot? A Little Advice.)
But here are a few tweets which stuck out:
—"I'll donate it to the government, they will surely know what to do with it." (@konikmarian)
—"I will make federal government spending look tame!" (@UKcorntrader)
—"I'd buy backbones for all 535 members of Congress, and one for the White House so we might reduce spending and save the country." (@BucketKing)
—"Pay taxes so the 49% can get free stuff from me." (@kastansell)
—"Short Amazon ." (@lpdinsd)
—"Send every economist back to school to learn something not based on unicorn ranching." (@DarylT)
—"I would also like a trampoline." (@youcanspellthis)
—"Not sure of the specifics, but I'm sure it will end with incarceration in a Mexican jail." (@knappshack)
—By CNBC's Jane Wells
@janewells
Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com
