Liri Haram, 31 and originally from Israel, came to the U.S. in 2021 to get a master's in neuroscience from Columbia University. As her graduation date approached, Haram began applying for jobs early, even before her program ended in May 2022.
She told herself, "'This could take six months. This could take more than six months," she says. "But I'm already starting, so I'm good.'" As the seasons went by, however, and she still wasn't getting any offers, major anxiety began to set in.
By September, Haram was either oversleeping or having trouble sleeping. She was having stomach aches. And she felt a looming sense of dread. It was a "constant guilt," she says, "and, like, this very deep feeling that I'm doing something wrong or there's something wrong with me."
As human beings, "we crave certainty," says Chase Cassine, licensed clinical social worker at DePaul Community Health Center. When we don't have it, that can cause anxiety. And with all of the waiting, hoping and various unknowns, the job seeking process is nothing if not uncertain.
Haram developed various coping mechanisms throughout her work search. Here's how she quelled her nerves and why Cassine believes these are useful tactics for anyone else dealing with anxiety.
She took long walks, 'much to my dog's delight'
"I think a very big thing that I was doing when the weather was nicer and it was a little easier to do is getting more exercise and being outside," she says, "much to my dog's delight." Haram would put in her earbuds, turn on her music and take long walks with her dog first thing in the morning.
"Walking is an excellent thing that people can do" when they're feeling anxious, says Cassine, because it's a way to detach from the grind of the job search and gives you a second to breathe. "We are adults, we got bills," he says. "However, we cannot do job searching all day long. We have to do some type of self-care."
She shared her experience in a post on LinkedIn
In late October, Haram also shared her experience with anxiety and the work search on a post on Linkedin entitled "Managing the job search, and my mental health."
"I was kind of building up the courage to write and publish something like that for a while," she says. And she ended up getting an outpouring of support, including dozens of comments and personal messages from people with whom it resonated, whether they were jobseekers themselves or not.
"It doesn't matter if it's with a therapist and client, it doesn't matter if it's a post on LinkedIn or any social media platform," says Cassine. "People want to feel seen, heard and valued." And in enabling other people to feel that way, Haram was able to feel seen, heard and valued herself.
She got involved with a Facebook group for tech folks
Haram also joined a Facebook group for Israelis in tech in New York. "I almost immediately volunteered to be one of the community managers and join their team because it just made me feel good," she says.
The job search and the anxiety and depression it can spur can make people feel quite isolated, says Cassine, and like "it's only us that's going through this." But joining a group of people with a similar interest or hobby who you're in contact with on a regular basis can give you a sense of community. It can make you feel like, "I'm not by myself."
"It was definitely a feeling of not being so alone," says Haram.
Haram's Facebook group has also given her an opportunity to attend events with people from the community. She was recently offered a part-time copywriting gig at one such event. She's now happily taking a break from applying.
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