CONTRIBUTORS

Cindy Perman
News Editor at CNBC.com and the author of The Pony Blog (ponyblog.cnbc.com). She has also written a book, “New York Curiosities,” and does stand-up comedy.
Jane Wells
CNBC business news reporter, based in Los Angeles, covering the defense and technology industries. She writes the CNBC.com blog Funny Business.

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The news can get a little heavy sometimes, with debt crises, vicious markets and crappy earnings reports. So, we dispatched our crack reporters, Cindy Perman and Jane Wells, to find some levity amid all this seriousness. May we offer you a Keynesian cocktail with a side of bacon?

Why a Pony? To be clear, there were no ponies harmed in the making of this blog. The blog’s name, “There Must Be a Pony In Here Somewhere,” comes from an old joke, a favorite of Ronald Reagan’s, that essentially means, with a pile of you-know-what this big, there MUST be a pony—a bright side—in here somewhere!

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Apr.15

4:04 PM ET

Wednesday, 15 Apr 2009

Want a Great Deal on a US Car? Not So Fast

Posted By:Cindy Perman

We inquired about leasing options, only to be met with a tirade about the ridiculousness of leasing.

“Everyone knows leasing is stupid!” he roared. “No one wants to lease. You want to own!”

We explained that we didn’t think it was so silly—with GM’s future so uncertain, we would be committing to GM for three years, not forever.

“GM isn’t going anywhere!” he snapped, then refused to even consider leasing a GM car to us. The only thing he was willing to sell us was a loaded model on the showroom floor, but clarified we’d have to pay a little more for it.

It seems we weren’t the only ones: In a forum on Edmunds.com about buying a Chevy Malibu, one Michigan car buyer, “greatlakesjr,” said he, too, was willing to help out a U.S. auto maker, albeit with a “substantial discount” for his risk, but that the salesmen “don’t appear too flexible at this time.”

Readers React: No Wonder US Car Dealers Are in Trouble

The reason you may not find killer deals on U.S. autos right now is that the sales slump has been going on so long that dealers have pared down their inventories accordingly, said Maryann Keller, an independent auto analyst. Plus, this is the spring selling season, when there are fewer discounts offered, she said.

As for why the salesman wouldn’t even consider leasing us a car, Keller said the problem is that no one is going to write a lease on a GM car.

“GMAC can’t write a lease today because GMAC doesn’t have the money and is not going to take the risk. They’re not owned by GM anymore,” she explained. “And no bank is going to write a lease on a GM car.”

But that’s not exclusive to GM, Keller said. “Banks have gotten out of the leasing business,” she explained. “They don’t even want to offer a lease on a Toyota.”

“The amount of money financial institutions have lost is staggering,” Keller said. “So, while [leasing] may make sense for the consumer, it will never make sense for financial institutions.”

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The other mistake we made was picking a popular car, the Chevy Malibu. Keller said if we’d sought out a deal on a pickup truck or midsize SUV, we probably would’ve had better luck.

The deals are out there, Keller said, noting that some of the best cash-back incentives have come from Chrysler, Hyundai and Kia. So, if you’re picking a popular manufacturer like Honda or Toyota, or a popular model like the Chevy Malibu, don’t expect as good of a deal. Sales may be down more than 30 percent but they’re not throwing the baby out with the bath water.

As we got up to leave the GM dealership, we asked the Chevy salesman if we could take the Sharpie-scribbled paper with us to discuss the offer at home.

“Sorry,” he replied as he flipped it over. “I wrote it on the back of someone else’s application.”

We bought a Honda Accord and vowed to do better next recession.

If you’re in the market for a car now, the pros say you might be best to wait it out through the spring selling season and consider buying a car in the summer, when dealers are clearing out their 2009 inventory to make way for the new 2010 models. And, buy at the end of the month—or end of the quarter—when they're looking for a few last-minute Hail Mary sales. You may not get the color you want but you're likely to get a great deal.

And, if you live in big city like we do, go on the Internet and see what you can find in nearby cities and towns where there are fewer dealerships—and buyers.

No matter where you're buying, go online and talk to the dealer first, Keller advises. “They expect that today,” she said.

You just wait until the next recession, Schenectady—I’m coming for you! What's your e-mail address?

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