3 financial red flags that may mean your spouse is thinking divorce, according to a CFP: 'Start looking for money movement'

About two or three times a year, someone walks into Mark La Spisa's office and asks how they can tell if their partner is prepping for a divorce. 

La Spisa is not a therapist or a lawyer. He's a certified financial planner. But more likely than not, he has an answer. 

Learning how to share, or not share, finances can be a pain point for many couples, he says. If your partner is suddenly deviating from the agreed-upon financial plan, you might want to start making mental notes of other behaviors.

"Start looking for money movement," La Spisa advises.

1. You no longer receive bank statements in the mail 

Changes to your mail is one of the biggest red flags: For example, "statements that used to come to the house are no longer coming to the house," he says. 

Say your partner wants to put a deposit down on a new apartment. This, and any other expenses they don't want you to know about, would show up on a bank statement or credit card statement.

2. You don't know where the tax return went 

If your tax return "disappears," that is another sign that your partner could be preparing for divorce, according to La Spisa. 

Tax returns show investments and can reveal if a person has been making new ones, he says. This is something a partner might try to hide if they are planning to ask for a separation. 

3. Their money habits have changed

"If they are planning a divorce, chances are they are going to see counselors or an attorney," he says. 

Expert advice costs money. So if you've noticed a change in their spending along with a change in their schedule, that might be a red flag.

A good rule of thumb, La Spisa says, is if you feel like something is off it probably is: "It's all the stuff you'd look for if your spouse was cheating."

If you confirm that your spouse is prepping for a divorce, there are some financial to-dos you should get started on, La Spisa says.

Close all joint checking accounts and open up a new back account.

"Think about setting up income withholding or direct deposit for child support, alimony or spousal support payments," he says.

Open up a new credit card and ask for a credit report.

You should also start gathering important documents like the title to your property and your homeowners health and life insurance policies.

You'll also need to disinherit your spouse, he says.

"Execute and write a new will, medical directives, trusts, and powers of attorney or living wills," he says. "Do not forget to change all beneficiaries on the IRA accounts, 401k pension, and life insurance."

Of course there could be other explanations for shifts in your partner's behavior. Before consulting an outside source, ask your partner directly about the changes you're noticing.

If even after that conversation, you still feel like like you're not getting the truth, these actions could signal that they aren't telling you something.

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