Hi again. Bumping this to the top of your inbox. Did you see my last email? I wanted to quickly check in.
You're bound to get ghosted over email at least once in your career — and when you do, it can be hard to know how to follow up with someone.
At what point does persistence become nagging? How do you encourage the other person to respond without sounding desperate, or worse, passive-aggressive?
Next time you're stuck waiting for a reply from your boss or a flaky colleague, workplace therapist Brandon Smith says there are two approaches you can take:
Be sensitive to their other work duties, but add a little urgency to the task
Whenever someone is unresponsive, you always want to assume positive intent, says Smith. They could be overwhelmed with something in their personal life, tasked with another time-sensitive project or perhaps your email went to their spam folder.
Here's a sample email you can send:
Hey [insert name here],
I know you've got a lot on your plate, but I am still waiting for your guidance on [insert issue here]. When would be a good time in the next few days for us to connect on this? It won't take long. Thanks again.
Sincerely,
[insert your name here]
This approach is effective because you're "putting the ball in their court and letting them set the deadline," Smith explains. "And now you have a reason to follow up and hold them accountable to that ask."
If you're working on a tighter deadline — or someone is habitually flaky — give yourself a buffer, and ask for a response at least two days before your actual deadline.
Smith suggests the following script: "I know you're really busy, and I hate to do this to you, but I've got a deadline of [insert earlier deadline here] and I really need your help. When you have a minute, can we connect on this?"
Try calling them on the phone
You also might be getting ghosted because the other person's inbox is out of control. In this case, Smith says following up with a call or voicemail is a "foolproof" backup plan.
"Phone calls are more personal, so it's easier to establish a stronger emotional connection to the person, and be receptive to what they have to say," he says.
In your voicemail, or when they pick up the phone, Smith suggests starting with an emotional appeal: "Hey, I really need your help. I know you're busy, but this deadline is fast approaching and having you involved would really benefit the [task/project/assignment.]"
When all else fails, seek support from a higher-up
If it's an hour before your deadline and all you're getting is radio silence from your colleague, it's time to reach out to their manager.
"Explain the situation to them in a calm, diplomatic tone and ask for advice," says Smith. "You could say, 'To be completely candid, I've finished the majority of the work, but I can't get this person to respond to me after following up several times. I can do my best to get this project across the finish line, but this has been a significant barrier. How would you like me to proceed?'"
If your boss is the flake, call or confront them in-person, says Smith. Be specific about what you need from them and when you need it by.
For example: "Have you had a chance to review the email I sent you? I'll need [insert ask here] by [insert date/time here] to meet the deadline for this project, if that's doable."
If they are still unresponsive, Smith says you may need to escalate the issue to their manager or another higher-up.
"As a mentor of mine shared with me years ago, we think we're working with adults, but we're not — it's mostly kids stuck in adult bodies," says Smith. "When you have these conversations, and ask someone to be accountable for their work, you're inviting the other person to grow up."
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