Psychology and Relationships

Sheryl Lee Ralph and her husband of almost 20 years don't live together: 'It's fantastic,' relationship psychologist says

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US actress Sheryl Lee Ralph arrives for the Critics Choice Association Celebration of Cinema and Television: Honoring Black, Latino, and AAPI Achievements, at Fairmont Century Plaza in Century City, California, on December 4, 2023.
Michael Tran | AFP | Getty Images

Actor Sheryl Lee Ralph responded to recent headlines which claimed she and her husband of almost 20 years are finally moving in together.

Ralph, 66, and her partner Vincent Hughes, 67, married in 2005, but have lived mostly apart for the duration of their union, as Lee is in California working on shows like "Abbot Elementary" and Hughes is a member of the Pennsylvania State Senate.

Reports claimed that the arrangement was no longer working for the couple. Ralph told an Entertainment Tonight reporter at an event earlier this week that she and Hughes are perfectly happy.

"We see each other on the average of every two weeks," she said. "And everybody who questions that I say, guess what? We're still married!"

Some find the dynamic aspirational. One X, formerly known as Twitter, user commented they were going to "take notes" and another wrote "that's the only way I'll get married."

The bicoastal set-up is unconventional, but is it unhealthy? One expert says no.

"It's fantastic," says Lisa Marie Bobby, a relationship psychologist and founder of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching in Denver. "Couples find all kinds of ways to design their own relationship."

Long distance can be 'more exciting and passionate'

There are many benefits to living separately, Bobby says.

"There is a characteristic of those relationships that are more exciting and passionate," she says. "The time they do spend together does tend to be more intense and fun."

It also allows both people to grow in ways that they maybe wouldn't if they lived together.

"There is more space in the marriage for people to pursue their own interests and have fuller, independent lives," she says.

Couples should "embrace" what makes their specific relationship work, Bobby says, and not worry about what's traditional.

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