Among Gen Zers and millennials (those aged 18 to 42), 3 in 5 unmarried couples live with their partners, according to a recent survey from the Thriving Center of Psychology. Among those couples, half say finances were part of their decision to move in.
Given the cost of housing, that makes sense, says Kendall Meade, a certified financial planner with SoFi. "We see a lot of people moving in together before marriage because it's so much less expensive to have a roommate," she says. "And isn't it easier to have someone you're dating versus a stranger?"
Maybe, but it also means you're entering a level in your relationship where you're at least partially combining finances with your partner.
No matter where you are in your relationship, you should likely be having regular financial conversations with your partner to make sure the two of you are on the same page when it comes to money. Here's how to broach the subject, whether you've been dating a few months or are ready to tie the knot.
Get to know your partner's money habits
You don't need to ask a prospective partner to furnish their credit report on the first date. But as things are warming up, it's important to begin learning about the other person's financial picture, Meade says.
"Start off with little conversations, like, 'What are your goals?' and work from there," she says. "It can be scary, but there are some things you should probably know."
Chief among them, Meade says: their debt level. "The most important thing to know is any debts that they're bringing into [the relationship]."
"That's not necessarily because you're going to have to pay it back for them," she says. "But it can help you make decisions moving forward. Who's covering what if one person has a significant amount of debt they need to tackle? Maybe one person pays more toward living expenses."
Eventually, knowing someone's credit history can be useful as well. "That can be especially important if you're planning on making joint purchases together in the future," Meade says. (For more, check out this list of the best joint checking and savings accounts, from CNBC Select.)
Budgeting and 'money talks'
OK, you've determined that the person you're with isn't working with any financial deal-breakers for you, and you're entering into a phase where you're comfortable combining some aspects of your finances. Now what?
Keep talking, experts say.
"I think the biggest thing is having the conversations early on in your relationship, and continuously approaching it together," Meade says. "I recommend once a month. I call it money dates, where you just sit down, and you can be doing something fun, like going out for dinner. And you just talk about finances."
The focus of these conversations should be on joint goals, Meade says. What do you hope to accomplish together, and how can you get there?
As you discuss, you may discover that you and your partner have differing attitudes about money. One person may be more inclined to spend now, for instance, while the other may be more of a saver. Sitting down and setting up a spending plan can help make sure everyone is happy, says Frank Summers, a CFP and accredited domestic partnership advisor with Cetera Advisors.
"If you put together a budget where you're saving toward the core goals you've agreed upon, and you feel comfortable with that, it can help alleviate some of the differences you might be having," he says. "If you know you have the core covered and you have X amount to spend that month, it can really help."
Meet with a pro
If things have gotten really serious, and your partner is the most important person in your life, it may be time to chat with a financial professional.
One pro you almost certainly want to meet with is an estate lawyer, says Summers. By drafting a few basic estate planning documents, you can make sure your partner has financial and medical decision-making power should you become incapacitated, and will receive any assets you want to leave them in the case of your death.
Whether you plan on getting married or not, "you need to have powers of attorney, both medical and financial. You also need a directive designating a person you choose to make decisions for you," Summers tells CNBC Make It. "And it's a really good idea to have a will or a trust."
It's also smart to meet with a financial advisor with whom you can discuss your long-term goals. Not only might this person be able to help you navigate the often complicated mechanics of combining your finances, but they can help clarify the steps you need to take to reach your goals as a team.
"It can be a really healthy thing, to just take the time and sit down and talk about [financial attitudes] and talk about goals and talk about how they're going to be achieved with a with a financial professional," says Summers. "Because at that point, this person is, No. 1, an intermediary. And No. 2, a professional who is used to talking through goals and prioritization."
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