When Alex Rodriguez's teen daughters make mistakes, he wants them to feel comfortable enough to come clean to their parents.
The 48-year-old former Major League Baseball All-Star, who retired in 2016, has made his own share of high-profile mistakes. His use of performance-enhancing drugs is perhaps highest among them, irreparably damaging his reputation and costing him — he estimates — at least $40 million in lost salary and endorsement money.
Rodriguez first publicly acknowledged his PED use in 2009, and has spent the years since trying to make amends and rebuild his reputation. That meant telling his two daughters, both of whom were under age 10 at the time, that he'd cheated — and that he needed to be honest with them about his missteps.
"As a father, transparency is key," Rodriguez tells CNBC Make It. "Part of being very honest with them, even if they were a little bit younger, was knowing that when you make a mistake, you have to stand up, take the hit and learn from it."
It felt particularly important for Rodriguez, whose father left his family when he was 10 years old. The point of being transparent with his daughters — who are now 15 and 18 — is to establish and maintain trust, so that "one day, when they make mistakes, they will feel comfortable enough to be honest with Mom and Dad," he says.
Creating such an atmosphere of trust requires constant effort, Rodriguez adds — including lots of open communication and tactics like device-free family time dedicated to "old-school conversation."
In his post-baseball career, Rodriguez is the CEO and chairman of investment firm A-Rod Corp and a co-owner of the National Basketball Association's Minnesota Timberwolves. But he refers to his role as a father as his "No. 1 responsibility, love [and] passion," writing an emotional Instagram post in August about dropping off his oldest daughter Natasha at the University of Michigan.
Psychologists agree that parents should talk with their children about their past mistakes and how they learned from them, so long as the lessons are age appropriate. It can help relieve anxiety, teach that no one is perfect and model the good behavior of taking responsibility for your actions.
It's unrealistic to expect your children to never make mistakes, Rodriguez adds: If his daughters never messed up, he'd worry "they're not pushing hard enough." Plenty of successful people say you shouldn't let fear of making mistakes stop you from taking risks, including Mark Cuban and Warren Buffett, who Rodriguez considers a friend and mentor.
Children "have to have margin for error," Rodriguez says, adding: "You just hope that those mistakes, [your kids] can stop, pivot and learn from them."
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