I've spent over two decades in advertising — and 17 years running my own agency — figuring out how to best break through the noise and make genuine connections.
In my industry, understanding human nature and developing high emotional intelligence are key to long-term success.
While researching for my book, "The Soulful Art of Persuasion," I identified three things that the most emotionally intelligent people always do to develop authentic relationships:
1. They lead with sincerity
I've found that people who lead with sincerity are better at getting their message across to others. They don't try to show up as anything other than who they truly are.
I call this the David Bowie principle. Bowie spent the beginning of his career trying to fit in. It wasn't until his "Space Oddity" record that he let go of what he thought he should do to be successful and began embracing the weirdness inside him that brought him joy.
I still take this lesson to heart. It taught me the power of leading with my authentic self and my strengths, no matter how idiosyncratic they might seem.
2. They have a generous spirit
Many people's first instinct in a business setting is to ask themselves, "How do I get what I want out of this situation?" But the most emotionally intelligent people I know are also the most generous.
When meeting new people, they take note of their endeavors and want to help. They ask about other people's pain points and how they can lighten their load.
When you meet someone for the first time, you never know whether you will see them again. They might become a regular presence in your life, or you'll bump into them 20 years from now, when you really need them.
People with emotional intelligence understand that developing relationships is a long game.
3. They are driven by curiosity
The most emotionally intelligent people are deeply empathetic and curious. They know the power of stepping outside of themselves and taking all perspectives into consideration.
When they ask someone what they do, for example, they will dig deeper. They genuinely want to know why they do it and what makes it fulfilling and challenging for them.
Listen carefully to the people around you, without judgment. When someone shares a struggle with you, be willing to reveal one of your own in return. When you speak to others with an open mind, they'll want to be honest with you, and help you when you need it most.
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Jason Harris is the co-founder and CEO of creative advertising agency Mekanism, co-founder of the Creative Alliance, author of "The Soulful Art of Persuasion" and host of The Soul & Science Podcast. Mekanism has been named to Ad Age's Agency A-list and twice to their Best Places to Work. Harris was named 2021 CEO of the Year by The Drum, and his methods are studied in cases at Harvard Business School.
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